Another Round of Random Ramblings

I’ve fallen off the wagon lately. What wagon? Lately, it feels like everything. I have so many goals and so many things on my to do list that I find myself not doing any because I can’t possibly get them all done. So if I can’t do it all, why do any? I know, I know. That’s an awful attitude to have but I can’t shake it. I’m stress eating and my defeated attitude is carried on my face. I swear if my husband states I look tired one more time, I might just completely go hide in a corner somewhere. So one goal I can complete and lift my spirits up is posting a new blog for you all. Thing is…I don’t have enough material on any one thing. I do keep little scraps of paper with random ideas with me at all times and have decided to compile this weird list of things I’ve thought recently. Here goes my verbal diarrhea…

~ I think LOL and j/k are used to lighten the truth. Whenever I see those used I think “they really do dislike my shirt…j/k!” See what I’m saying?

~ I’m always drawn to the book section at Target. I kid you not, I want to write all the books down and put them at hold at the library. I have enough already on my list to read, but I can’t stop myself from shopping at Target; my list will forever be growing.

~ If you pee when I’m around I will for a split second think about the strength of your stream. (Power washers make me chuckle…I’m so immature sometimes.)

~ Things I was into as a kid: The Bermuda Triangle, aliens, haunted anything, Oregon Trail, Goosebumps, Unsolved Mysteries and X-Files. I suppose anything that could be considered spooky, now that I look at this list typed out.

~ I read a story with the most unique punishment I’ve ever read. Not only was it a good way to curse someone but it made me laugh. “I hope you step on Legos forever.” Now that would be awful.

~ I’ve recently become addicted to buzzfeed.com. I kid you not, have time to kill and want to be entertained…then check it out.

~ I love goodreads.com. But like Target, it gives me way too many good book suggestions. But on a bonus side they have book giveaways. I don’t feel complete until I’ve signed up for a least 3 everyday.

~ I want to make a video that appears on Tosh.0.

~ I don’t understand why anybody would love The Wedding Crashers or Old School.

~ I’m ready for a new hair color. Being natural has been great but I’m much too adventurous to stay in the safe zone.

~ When I see an article photo showing “Fattest Cities” and it has someone’s body with the head cut off (or that black bar across their eyes), I think “I wonder if the person in this photo saw and recognized themselves.”

What did I tell ya? Pretty random eh?

But I Don't Feel Old

(Mom and me)

I went on holiday with my mom this past weekend. (I feel very European saying holiday just so you know.) And my mom said something that really resonated with me. She said, “I don’t feel 60.” And I know exactly what she means but in the thirty year old version. Despite evidence that I am aging, I don’t feel aged. I still feel like the little sister in my family. I feel like I’m old enough to have a kid but young enough to be really cool to them. (That’ll fade fast I’m sure.) I sometimes look at my clothing choices now and think “should I be wearing this trend?” I’m telling you that 30 feels different and it’s awkward. You’re not in your teens and can be carefree. You can be irresponsible and you’re expected to make lots of mistakes. And you’re not 20 where you’re expected to be a little wild, enjoying your new freedom from home. But your 30…and to me it’s a weird mix between feeling like I’m 20 but not looking like it. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I’m haggard or anything but I’ve noticed some changes. And each year my definition of “older” is moved up. When I was 20, 30 was old. Now I’m 30 and 40 is the new age I consider distinguished and so on and so on. It’s consistently evolving based on where I am in my stage of life. But despite my youthful approach to living my life, there are a few reminders that make me feel the progress of time….

Things That Make me Feel Old

1.  Finding another grey hair. Finding one could be a fluke, but finding another is confirmation.

2. I once had a dream of being in the army. I believe enlistment is cutoff at 35. Which means one  dream of mine officially dies in 5 years time.

3. I have a permanent crease line on my neck.

4. I’m getting closer to that 35 year mark where pregnancies fall into “higher risk.”

5. When I do jumping jacks I have to squeeze my kegel muscles due to fear of peeing my pants.

6. Each year it appears my pubic region expands. (And I sing to myself while grooming "welcome to the jungle!")

I’m happy to be aging though. (No really, I am.)  There are so many more things to come that I’m looking forward to. Most of which involve Desmond and watching him tackle life.  And the other stuff involve things that I still want to do with my own life and with my husband. So, my motto “you’re only as old as you feel.” And right now, I’m only pushing 25. 

 What makes you feel old? Young?