She Said What!?!

Ok, here’s another round of my ‘They Said What’ series. So, the other day I’m at Jewel with Michael and Desmond. I stand in line to pay while Michael is showing Desmond the flashy lottery machine in the front of the store. My purchases are few and it should be a quick in and out kind of transaction but to no avail I picked the one line that has a price check by the lady right in front of me. I’m patient. I’m not in a rush. I can see Michael handling Des in the front of the store and I quietly wait while the price checking is happening. But then it happens. The lady in front of me has finally noticed me. And I’m not sure at this point what she’s thinking. If I was in her shoes, I would feel bad that I’m holding up the line but figure you gotta do what you gotta do to get the right price. (Believe me, as a couponer I get it.) But that is not what she’s thinking. She opens her mouth and says to me, “Would you like to have a seat?” I’m baffled. I look behind me to see if there is someone who would require a seat while we wait. (Keep in mind; we’ve been waiting less than a minute, nothing major here.) And so I reply, “Me?” with a confused look on my face. And then it comes, word vomit. She says “Yeah, for you know…the baby” as she looks down to my stomach. First things first, my mouth drops open and I tell her I’m not pregnant. Second thing that happens, the poor teenage boy working the register is trying his best not to look at me or her. He’s embarrassed two fold for us. So instead of just turning around and shutting her mouth, the lady feels compelled to make things better. I’m told that I’m glowing. That my complexion is flawless and I’m told that I’m just beautiful. And it all goes in one ear and out the other. You don’t accuse people of being pregnant because they are glowing. And it’s not like I don’t know I’m heavy. I think what I found most offensive is that not only did she think I’m pregnant but she thought I was SO pregnant that I required a chair to sit down for the minute wait. COME ON! I assumed it was common knowledge but I would like to reinitiate this little safety tip: If you are not certain beyond 100% of a doubt that a woman is pregnant and not heavy, then please keep your mouth shut.


Happy Thanksgiving Y’all! I’m gonna add to my Lil’ Bundle of Joy this Thursday!

The Wonder Years

Being a mom is scary. Any bouts of anxiety I have are usually directly related to Desmond’s future. As I watched a clip of idiot fraternity boys on Tosh.0 a couple weeks ago, I couldn’t help but think…that could be Desmond. What if I raise a binge drinker? What if I raise a boy who has lots of meaningless emotionless sex? And he’ll be old and living out of my house. I will have lost control. I’ll be a nagging medaling mother whose son doesn’t want to contact her because he doesn’t want to listen to her motherly advice anymore; it’s a scary thought.

But I stopped fretting. I calmed myself down and had hope that I will raise a son who drinks moderately and cares about the woman he sleeps with. (No, those arent my only two concerns about him growing up but I don’t have time to write about them all.) Before I became a mother, I wouldn’t have blinked twice at this clip on Tosh. Now though, each boy I see in any movie or television program morphs into Desmond. And without a good grip on my ability to stay calm, I’d be going completely batty.

So, on a whim I have started watching The Wonder Years on Netflix; and it overflows my hope reservoir. (Not only that but it’s refreshing to watch something that feels wholesome.) I remember as a kid I liked the show but I know for certain my six year old self didn’t catch half of the insinuations that are in that show. Regardless of what I missed then, I see so much more now. I don’t panic when I imagine Desmond like Kevin Arnold. The idea of Desmond growing up too fast is not only scary but it’s reality. Watching little Kevin grow up and learn about the facts of life reminds me that Desmond doesn’t not have to be a wicked bully crazed child in the process. Today’s TV depicts such mean children, that I’m constantly brewing up ways to make sure my kid isn’t one. I forget that children are a large reflection of their parents. So I have hope that leading by example, Desmond will come out alright.

So, I’m going to continue watching The Wonder Years. Not only is it just a good show but it reminds me of my childhood and gives me moments to look forward to in Desmond’s future. (Seriously try watching it again…it’s really is still a good program after all these years.)

Mothers/Fathers out there – Am I alone in this? Or do you imagine these things too?