Roar of the Tiger

It’s been a rough two weeks. My husband has had some deadlines at work that has required him to work late…very late! I’m talking catching the last train at 12:30am and making it home and in bed around 2am. I’ve had to miss two weeks of practice. I miss it but I’ve also dug the break and spending more time with my son, plus it’s got me thinking…of how much I do.

Now, I’m not looking for praise. (Really Michael, you can relax.) This is about how much I feel I can take on. I stress. I worry. Yet it doesn’t stop me from getting the job done. For example, the other night in a 3 hour time frame, I grocery shopped, dropped off a calendar to my sister (who lives in the Cary area), started a new load of laundry, folded a dry load of laundry, did the dishes, took out the garbage/recycling, had dinner with Desmond and put him to bed. I don’t know about you but I think that’s a shit load of multi-tasking. Plus I could throw in playtime with Desmond because lord knows my kid can’t leave you alone for one chore, so throughout my night I’m entertaining a two year old. When I reflect back on my night, I feel accomplished. I swear I can hear my inner and outer mother ROARRRR!!!! (Also, insert grunt noise from Home Improvement here.) Its nights like this that I feel really good and I just wanted to focus on that feeling. I’ve written before that focusing on the positive is never done enough now-a-days. So here I am, focusing on my positives. (Your yesterday can’t be all bad, what was your favorite part?)

It baffles me that I used to be addicted to television. How did I ever manage before? I swear when I turned our cable off and handed our dvr over, we had 30 plus programs that we recorded and watched. And when I say we, I mean I because I confess, 90% or more of those programs were mine. And though I still enjoy watching TV when I do, it’s not a focus anymore. No wonder I was down the beginning of last year, where was my ROARING? Nothing roar-able about sitting and watching a dozen or so programs a night. Thank god for derby and having a job loss scare that made me turn the cable off, my life feels more free and satisfying because of it.

But I’m not one to sit around. I really do feel like I have a full plate but it doesn’t stop me from having more ambitions. I have a long reading list that I’m actually putting a dent in. I’m participating in the National Novel Writing Month in November. I plan on doing a 5K in September and most recently I’m thinking about organizing a mob flash. That’s right, a flash mob. (If this comes to fruitation I will definitely let you all know.) Yup, I’m not helping my stress but damn it feels good to ROAR!

Getting the Backhand

According to Wikipedia:

A backhanded compliment, also known as a left handed compliment, or asteism is an insult that is disguised as a compliment. Sometimes, a backhanded compliment may be inadvertent. However, the term usually connotes an intent to belittle or condescend.

A backhanded compliment may fool the listener, but the compliment remains "backhanded" because the speaker is being intentionally slighting and insulting. In some cultures, backhanded compliments are considered a genteel or polite way of expressing disdain.

Examples of backhanded compliments include:

"That dress is lovely; it does wonders for your figure."
"You're smarter than you look."
"You drive very well, for a woman."
"Your son is more handsome than I would have expected."

In each instance, there is an initial compliment: praising a piece of clothing, a person's intellect, a person's driving ability, or a person's looks. However, each instance also includes an implied criticism: the person's figure desperately needs improvement; the person appears unintelligent on the surface; women don't drive well, and therefore any skill at driving is noteworthy; the son's parents are unattractive.

I’m no stranger to the backhanded compliment. All of my examples are weight based. I’m sure if I thought long and hard enough I would find more that aren’t, but I suppose it’s the backhanded compliments that hit a sore spot that actually stick out and are easily remembered. Plus it’s the most recent one I received so it’s fresher in my mind. So let’s dive right into my pain. (I’m joking; I have thick skin after all.)

At one our after parties for the Rockford Rage, I was approached by a gentlemen who wanted to give me a “compliment.” I wish I could remember his exact words because my jaw dropped when he said it. The gist of what he wanted to say was I have a lot of energy and he liked it. What came out was that he was so surprised that someone my size would be dancing so much after having just bouted for an hour. He tied in my weight to the compliment. Like someone my size should be lethargic, tired, half-assing it on the dance floor; like I’m some type of miracle worker that I can still walk after having skated for an hour. Seriously?

While I’m on the topic, I remember a time when a man approached me and said “I like my ladies kind of chunky.” Chunky! Really, you want to open up with chunky!?! And another I have received “You’re pretty for a big girl.” Let me give you guys a tip. Whether you’re a chubby chaser or not, I can guarantee a woman does not want to know that you find her attractive despite her size. In fact, you want to hear the best compliment I did get? It was simple and made my night. (Granted it was from an older drunk man who I found kinda repulsive, it was still nice.) He said “You are stunning.” Nothing quite trumps a stunning gentleman. Never be in doubt boys, leave weight out of it.

A friend of mine *cough Ernie cough* is a backhand complimenter by nature. I swear almost everything she says can be twisted into a backhanded compliment. It’s to a point now that I don’t read into the implied because she’s usually not implying. My favorite instance was a photo I found of another roller derby team that was just starting up. One of the girls kinda resembled me and wore a similar outfit that I did. When I asked her if she thought I looked like that, she said “You don’t look that bad.” LOL, meaning I look bad just not as bad as this chick.

I’m not immune to using a backhanded compliment, I don’t think I’ve ever used one intentionally though. It’s usually those slips of the tongue ones, that as soon as I hear it, I’m already correcting myself by saying “What I meant was.” I hate those moments because even if you don’t mean it in that way you can’t help but feel like they think you think that way. Did that make sense? Anywho, the moral of this story…well, there isn’t one. The end.

Shell The Cunning Couponator

If you haven’t heard anything recently about couponing then I’m assuming you live in a cave. I hear non-stop talk about couponing among strangers, co-workers and friends ever since the show Extreme Couponing premiered on TLC. I don’t have cable so I haven’t actually seen the show, but I can imagine exactly what it’s like from the constant chatter I overhear of it. I soon realized how nutty it was getting when on the morning elevator at work, three men were discussing the show. I kid you not, one said “did you see the one where she got like $900 worth of groceries for like $50 bucks!” I suppose it’s foolish of me to think that only woman use coupons but it really was surprising to see three young men discuss the awesomeness of coupons. Overhearing this much about it was like a constant voice saying “hello, get with the program and check this out.”

Luckily for me I have a friend who has recently gotten into couponing and her enthusiasm for the “sport” is what tipped the scales. I could no longer say I didn’t want to teach myself how do it because I had a willing and very able teacher for free. On top of that, could I really say “No, I don’t want to get awesome stuff for free. I’d rather pay, thank you!” Nope, couldn’t do that either. So began my journey into couponing.

My adventure begins with watching an instructional dvd that my friend had purchased online. (Check out supercouponing.com) It’s cheesy but majorly informative. It shows you how you are currently couponing wrong, how to do it right and how to organize yourself to make couponing as fast, easy and simple as possible. It really is a good dvd and I highly recommend you order one. (Or make a date night with me…you can pay me in wine for my time.)

Now, let me ask you this? Do you buy toothpaste? Toothbrushes? Soap? Shampoo/Conditioner? Body Wash? Mouth Wash? Contact Solution? Razors? Deodorant? It’s a very safe bet that you answered yes to almost all of these. What if I told you that you would never have to purchase these things again? Hard to believe? Well, it’s true. If you learn how to super coupon, almost every personal care item you get can be free. Even make-up can be heavily discounted if not free too. You just have to know how to stack your coupons and wait for the right sale. So ask yourself, would you like these items for free? Now that I’ve gotten a few this way, I can honestly say it would be really hard ever going back to paying full price or even the sale price again.

Now, I don’t want to get into specifics. If I were to explain how it all works, it would take many blog entries and to be honest I’m still learning . What I will say is…give it try. Even if you don’t have time to watch that dvd at my house, or you don’t’ have the money to buy it for yourself, there are websites that teach you for free and at whatever time is convenient for you. (Couponmom.com has a series of videos, haven’t watched these to verify if they are good or not.) For those of you who are willing to give it a try and have questions or need help, message me. I’m even apart of a yahoo group that posts good deals and we all help each other out with questions or sometimes we just trade coupons. You can get into that too. The resources are out there to make this super fun and easy to do.

Below is a picture of the very first day I went out. Everything was FREE! I only had to pay tax which only amounts to a couple of cents. Not bad of a scoop when I only had one newspaper to work with. Now-a-days, my gets are much more impressive


(Side note: I'm sending the items I have a stockpile of to my adopted soldier. Just think you could donate your free items to charity or help out your own family.)