I’ve got a few grievances when it
comes to naming our little girl. I think the trouble started when I fell in
love with an unconventional name. So what does one do nowadays when you want to
learn more, you Google it. I googled said name and found some really awful
rotten remarks that totally swayed me away from the name. Not only that but I
went to close friends and kinda got the same reviews but in a lot less harsher
tone. So my opinion was swayed away. (Not all were negative but my hormones had
me focusing on the bad rather than good.)
For weeks then I started
compiling a list of girl names I liked. One day I would be set on a name
because I did truly like it and others enthusiasm for that name just kinda pushed
me in that direction. But then I’d take it home, I’d try calling her the “new”
name and it just wouldn’t feel right. I couldn’t picture calling her that name
five years from now. It didn’t give me a picture of who I imagine her being
down the line. I just couldn’t find her any name that was considered
“acceptable” by others.
So shortly before Christmas, I
went back to the name I first loved and it felt right. Michael loves it. I love
it. Desmond loves it. Ok, Desmond doesn’t really have an opinion about it but
he can honestly say the name well, and that was important to me. So, we made it
official and told our family. My
immediate family wasn’t surprised because they were in the test run department
the first go round. But sharing the news with some other family members didn’t
go so well. One person laughed so hard I thought I missed the joke. Really!?!
It’s that funny!?! And the nickname suggestions have been plenty. Why does my
already short name need a nickname? Oh, because you don’t like it that’s why. That
too can be frustrating.
And it’s been hard. When people
ask me the name I have been lying and saying we don’t know yet. Let me tell you
something…if you ask a pregnant lady what the baby name is…you do NOT look
disgusted or shocked. You don’t tell an awful story of someone you once knew
with that name. You do say that’s nice, or move on to another topic and then go
behind their back and talk about it if you please. (Come on, what happened to
don’t say anything if you haven’t got anything nice to say?)
If you ask me what the name is, I
can guarantee I wasn’t looking for your opinion; I’m just answering your
question. But nobody holds back their opinion. So now I’m not saying anymore
because some responses are awful. What’s
right for me is not necessarily right for you. Last time I was asked and we
shared I was actually laughing from nerves because I felt awkward.
Now you might say, well maybe
that name isn’t right for you. But it is. I just don’t know how to handle other
people. I would never say anything negative to an expecting mom if she told me
a name that I felt was unusual. Because having a baby is stressful enough. You
don’t need to give that woman additional stress. So be kind the next time you
ask a pregnant lady her baby’s name and make sure you aren’t giving an unwanted
opinion. Be glad she feels comfortable enough sharing it with you. Now if she says “what do you think?” Then all
bets are off, have at it. Otherwise, be gentle.
