The Challenge of Naming a Baby

I’ve got a few grievances when it comes to naming our little girl. I think the trouble started when I fell in love with an unconventional name. So what does one do nowadays when you want to learn more, you Google it. I googled said name and found some really awful rotten remarks that totally swayed me away from the name. Not only that but I went to close friends and kinda got the same reviews but in a lot less harsher tone. So my opinion was swayed away. (Not all were negative but my hormones had me focusing on the bad rather than good.)

For weeks then I started compiling a list of girl names I liked. One day I would be set on a name because I did truly like it and others enthusiasm for that name just kinda pushed me in that direction. But then I’d take it home, I’d try calling her the “new” name and it just wouldn’t feel right. I couldn’t picture calling her that name five years from now. It didn’t give me a picture of who I imagine her being down the line. I just couldn’t find her any name that was considered “acceptable” by others.

So shortly before Christmas, I went back to the name I first loved and it felt right. Michael loves it. I love it. Desmond loves it. Ok, Desmond doesn’t really have an opinion about it but he can honestly say the name well, and that was important to me. So, we made it official and told our family.  My immediate family wasn’t surprised because they were in the test run department the first go round. But sharing the news with some other family members didn’t go so well. One person laughed so hard I thought I missed the joke. Really!?! It’s that funny!?! And the nickname suggestions have been plenty. Why does my already short name need a nickname? Oh, because you don’t like it that’s why. That too can be frustrating.

And it’s been hard. When people ask me the name I have been lying and saying we don’t know yet. Let me tell you something…if you ask a pregnant lady what the baby name is…you do NOT look disgusted or shocked. You don’t tell an awful story of someone you once knew with that name. You do say that’s nice, or move on to another topic and then go behind their back and talk about it if you please. (Come on, what happened to don’t say anything if you haven’t got anything nice to say?)

If you ask me what the name is, I can guarantee I wasn’t looking for your opinion; I’m just answering your question. But nobody holds back their opinion. So now I’m not saying anymore because some responses are awful.  What’s right for me is not necessarily right for you. Last time I was asked and we shared I was actually laughing from nerves because I felt awkward.

Now you might say, well maybe that name isn’t right for you. But it is. I just don’t know how to handle other people. I would never say anything negative to an expecting mom if she told me a name that I felt was unusual. Because having a baby is stressful enough. You don’t need to give that woman additional stress. So be kind the next time you ask a pregnant lady her baby’s name and make sure you aren’t giving an unwanted opinion. Be glad she feels comfortable enough sharing it with you.  Now if she says “what do you think?” Then all bets are off, have at it. Otherwise, be gentle.