A Year of Self Discovery

(My angry duck face inspired by my Snooki hair, no I'm not a Jersey Shore fan.)

In February I wrote a blog titled “Should I Stay or Should I Zombie.” It was about this idea for a zombie story that randomly popped into my head. I couldn’t stop thinking about it for days. It got to a point where I started a scribble page with notes and ideas as they came to me. Not all of those ideas were keepers but I wanted to capture it all. It was the first time I was inspired to write something that wasn’t a blog. It wasn’t my opinion on any subject. It wasn’t a retelling of a funny story. It was an original idea. Something I could create and it seriously made me consider trying to attempt writing a story. Though I always enjoyed the books we read in English classes, the assignments were the part I didn’t enjoy. I never felt like a writer because everything I was asked to write felt forced. So using my past bad experiences with writing overwhelm me, I let the creative feeling pass. The ideas stopped coming but I did hold onto my scribble notes incase inspiration ever strikes again. But what I can’t get out of my mind was the feeling that something exciting was about to happen. One comment on that blog particularly stepped out to me to. Jac wrote “If you write, you are a writer.” This person, who is one of the few followers I don’t actually know, lit a small fire within me. They made me realize that I am a writer. As insignificant I might be right now as a writer, I write therefore I am. It’s just that simple. I’m not writing the next bestseller or news worthy reports but I’m writing for me. Because it feels good.

The biggest change I’ve made to my writing, is writing what I know. I’m not writing an introduction paragraph followed up by facts. I’m not researching topics. I’m not forcing to quote references, focusing on any grammar or worrying how small my vocabulary is. I type as fast as the thoughts and ideas come to me. I highly recommend it; it’s almost therapeutic. Like releasing the pressure in my brain. And now that I’m excited about writing, I’m actually more interested in proper grammar and expanding my vocabulary. I’ve already signed up to receive a Word A Day email from Webster. There’s still time yet to become a word junkie right? As for proper grammar, well I imagine that will always be an issue. I want my words to sound like me. And until I can speak properly, it’ll always be a little off. Plus, it may be because I’m naïve but I like to think that if I wrote something great one day, I’ll just have an amazing editor to put a good polish on my work.

And I have to say, starting this blog has been great. I love running into friends and family who come up to me and actually discuss something I wrote. I can’t help but glow a little bit when a few of my crazy awesome aunts say I have a talent for writing. Though I do believe they are a bit biased because I’m family, they wouldn’t say that if I was god awful either. So I suppose I can say I’m winning! And it never fails to amaze me which blogs get the most feedback. I think to date most of my woman readers responded to the “MILF Me” blog. And that one made me a little proud because my husband wasn’t too crazy about it. But I had the proof right in front of me, I’m not the only one. And that’s one other great thing about writing; you receive support and realize that your never the only one.

So my writing pilot is still lit. And I’ve begun looking into creative writing classes. I mentioned this to my dear old husband and I was actually a little offended at his response. After asking me how much a six week online course at ECC would cost, Michael responded “So it’s basically a $100 journal.” Ok, I will agree he has some merits. I am a beginner writer. Nothing from this class will probably evolve into anything but I suppose my gambling side is coming out because I can’t help but think what if! What if I take this creative writing class and it helps me get my start. I’ve already had more random story ideas pop into my head. What if one assignment blooms a small paragraph about one of those ideas. Then that paragraph grew into two pages, into a full chapter and before you know it, I have a novel. It could happen.

Don’t get my husband wrong, he’s supportive. And he’s smart. We’ve been together a long time and he knows that I get excited and ambitious whenever something new has caught my attention. What he also knows is that my attention can wan when the going gets tough. So I’d like to point out it’s been one year. One year of what? One year of blogging my friends. I have written 50 blogs in the past year. That’s almost an average of one per week. I honestly can’t see it stopping anytime soon either. So Mr. Vicious, time to embrace the new writer in the family.

(The scariest thing for me about this creative writing class is sharing my writing and getting feedback from my fellow students. Because I don’t’ see it like this blog. I’m comfortable with this. It’s like a journal, justing describing how I see my day to day life. What I’m hoping to get out of the class is starting a story that’s completely made up. Little spooky.)