The Challenge of Naming a Baby

I’ve got a few grievances when it comes to naming our little girl. I think the trouble started when I fell in love with an unconventional name. So what does one do nowadays when you want to learn more, you Google it. I googled said name and found some really awful rotten remarks that totally swayed me away from the name. Not only that but I went to close friends and kinda got the same reviews but in a lot less harsher tone. So my opinion was swayed away. (Not all were negative but my hormones had me focusing on the bad rather than good.)

For weeks then I started compiling a list of girl names I liked. One day I would be set on a name because I did truly like it and others enthusiasm for that name just kinda pushed me in that direction. But then I’d take it home, I’d try calling her the “new” name and it just wouldn’t feel right. I couldn’t picture calling her that name five years from now. It didn’t give me a picture of who I imagine her being down the line. I just couldn’t find her any name that was considered “acceptable” by others.

So shortly before Christmas, I went back to the name I first loved and it felt right. Michael loves it. I love it. Desmond loves it. Ok, Desmond doesn’t really have an opinion about it but he can honestly say the name well, and that was important to me. So, we made it official and told our family.  My immediate family wasn’t surprised because they were in the test run department the first go round. But sharing the news with some other family members didn’t go so well. One person laughed so hard I thought I missed the joke. Really!?! It’s that funny!?! And the nickname suggestions have been plenty. Why does my already short name need a nickname? Oh, because you don’t like it that’s why. That too can be frustrating.

And it’s been hard. When people ask me the name I have been lying and saying we don’t know yet. Let me tell you something…if you ask a pregnant lady what the baby name is…you do NOT look disgusted or shocked. You don’t tell an awful story of someone you once knew with that name. You do say that’s nice, or move on to another topic and then go behind their back and talk about it if you please. (Come on, what happened to don’t say anything if you haven’t got anything nice to say?)

If you ask me what the name is, I can guarantee I wasn’t looking for your opinion; I’m just answering your question. But nobody holds back their opinion. So now I’m not saying anymore because some responses are awful.  What’s right for me is not necessarily right for you. Last time I was asked and we shared I was actually laughing from nerves because I felt awkward.

Now you might say, well maybe that name isn’t right for you. But it is. I just don’t know how to handle other people. I would never say anything negative to an expecting mom if she told me a name that I felt was unusual. Because having a baby is stressful enough. You don’t need to give that woman additional stress. So be kind the next time you ask a pregnant lady her baby’s name and make sure you aren’t giving an unwanted opinion. Be glad she feels comfortable enough sharing it with you.  Now if she says “what do you think?” Then all bets are off, have at it. Otherwise, be gentle.

30 and Pregnant

 

Well, you’ve probably already figured out I’m pregnant. Either from my last blog post or from the ultrasound video my husband posted from our last ultrasound. I have to say that ultrasound is what jump kicked my excitement about this pregnancy.

Now don’t get me wrong I was trying, but on August 2^nd, my husband lost his job.  I had just come to the conclusion that we would wait trying until he gets himself settled. Well, life had different plans. On August 9^th I found out I was pregnant. Not only was this baby #2 which scares the crap out of me but my husband has no job as of now. Begin mini freak out now.

Once the news started spreading that I was pregnant I would either get one of two things:  #1 “I hope it’s a girl.” (Yes I hope so too, it would please many many people.) And #2 “Aren’t you excited?” I’ve been kinda faking my excitement. Ok, let me explain myself. First babies are magical. You are naïve. But now, I know better. I am super excited to meet my new little one but I dread waking up in the middle of the night. I dread the diaper explosions. I know better now what’s to come AND to top it all off, I have another one I have to care for as well.  I know, I know it all works out. You make it through.  But I know it’ll be tough…tougher I think this time around.

And this pregnancy has already been tougher on me. I like to think it’s different because it’s a girl. BUT what my reasonable mind tells me it’s because I’m haggard. Ok, that’s a bit harsh. I’m older. I’m wiser. My body is more used this time around then when I had Desmond. And if it wasn’t already apparent to me that I am 30 and pregnant, I have this on my ultrasounds to remind me:

 

 Why do I need to see I’m 30y8mo on my ultrasound? Much more appealing to see 11w2d, no? I just wasn’t prepared to see that I’m on the back half of 30. I know, I’m being melodramatic but it one of the few things that bug me is getting older and not feeling older.

Anyways, when I had the 11 week ultrasound it really got me excited. It looked like a baby.  He/she was a crazy mover. I was able to focus on looking forward to feeling the baby in a few weeks. I was able to let go some of the stress I have held onto.  

As for body image issues, they are awful this time around. I’m even more stressed out about my body this time. I gained 55 pounds with Desmond and loved every minute of it. I wouldn’t hear of being called fat. I was pregnant, damn it.  This time, I look fat. Do I look fat? I’m fat. That’s what goes through my head now. So to help, it’s my personal goal to not break the 35 pound mark. (Wish me luck, I do love to eat.)

Anyways, I’m pregnant with #2. And I’m excited and a bit scared. But it’s definitely going to be a fun journey. (And for those waiting to know…sometime early December will be when I find out the sex.)