Love at First Zombie Sight

This here entry is dedicated to my Mom, Labia & Chels.

I tried telling my mom about my zombie story idea this weekend and for the most part she asked some very challenging questions, but a lot of the other times she was just ridiculous. No Mom…my character is not a zombie that falls in love with another zombie. No Mom…my zombies aren’t caused by aliens. Come on! I’ve also had long facebook discussions with my lady friends Labia and Chels whether zombies would be able to roller skate or ski if they were changed while wearing skates or skis. My conclusion was no for multiple reasons and that’s left best for another time. So I decided to use some of these “absurd” concepts above in a little writers warm up. So in essence this is a crack fic little ditty just for you…

LOVE AT FIRST ZOMBIE SIGHT

She staggered into view. I noticed her leg was awkwardly bent at her left knee and she was dragging it behind her a little. She was hunched over from carrying the weight of an ax in her back. Her clothes we torn to shreds and dirty. She smelled like road kill with a hint of pine and soil. As she approached closer to me I noticed her face. There was a large gash across her cheek that exposed her mouth and showed multiple teeth missing. She must have taken a hard blow to the face with something that was capable of crushing and tearing. She was the most stunning zombie woman I’ve come across. She must be the reason I was turned. I took the last few steps between us.

As I neared her, she stopped and sniffed. I could tell she was evaluating me from friend and foe. It’s odd how we take that measure but it seems instinct that can’t be ignored. For if I was truly foe, she go from staggering zombie into raging flesh eating crazy zombie in zero time flat. After it was determined I was harmless to her she raised one hand to my shoulder and held the other hand up as if she was waiting for a dance. I would not decline her simple request. My left hand went to her waist. I had to bend quite a bit to reach because of her hunch and the fact I was wearing roller skates. I raised my right hand to her and tried to inter-mingle our fingers. It was quite a task. When I was bitten at the roller rink my hand had been smashed and stuck in a door in my attempt to escape. Luckily for me the door was in a secluded stairwell so I was able to turn instead of being devoured. I was able to remove my hand from the door when an unexpected human came looking for supplies weeks later. Not only did he set me free but provided me my first meal.

She ended up just holding my hand in hers. It was a sensation overload. I could feel the cold of her hand. I could feel the film of our exposed muscle and the juice of pus and rotting flesh as we pressed our hands together. Had I had blood flow I would have been excited. We swayed to the collective moaning of our neighboring zombies. Had she not have had a limp or I had skates, we could have really danced. We did not have forever though to stay in our embrace. It had been days since I fed and she appeared to have been waiting longer. I pulled on her waist and skated beside her slowly out of the building. We needed to find a meal. But really it was my excuse for our first date.

(END SCENE)

I know, I know…many things wrong with this fic but I’m calling it a crack fic for a reason. Even though this is completely useless to my zombie story, it felt good just to write something. I think I need to really sit down and create an outline for the story in my head. I feel like that is the first hurdle I need to get over. And if I can get over that hurdle then maybe I’ll start writing the story. So that’s my plan; I need to dedicate some time to story idea and decide once and for all if I’m going pursue it or not.