Friday, August 26, 2011

The Full-Time Non-Mom

I had a moment of pure joy the other day when I dropped off Desmond at his daycare. He cried! Yup, my son’s tears made me happy that morning. Does that make me a bad mom? Absolutely not! Hear me out here first. Five times a week my son is at daycare. He loves it! So much so, that he is excited to see his care providers and will happily leave my arms for theirs. So, it was my greatest pleasure that morning when Desmond did not want to go over without a little fuss. He wanted his mommy. And let me tell you, it filled my heart with joy. If I was the type of person that felt comfortable calling in sick when I’m not, I would have. If Desmond wants mommy, then I wanted to give him mommy. But I’m too horrible of a liar and I can’t start a trend of staying with Desmond whenever he gets upset. So I pushed through and went to work. (But I like to think it took him hours to get over it, when actually it was probably more like out of sight, out of mind)

This got me thinking about how much time I get with Desmond. I’m a full-time non-mom. Five times a week another family gets the opportunity to spend the most active and fun time frame of Desmond’s day. I get to pick him up, feed him, bath him, read to him and put him to bed. I do realize that this pretty normal for most families now-a-days. We just are a society that needs a double income to survive, but just because it’s my reality doesn’t mean I have to like it.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my daycare. I think they rock and I am so happy to have found them. (Thanks again cousin for recommending them.) But here’s a little story on the opposite side of the spectrum. Each day I pick up Des I have a habit of throwing up fist up in triumph and loudly saying the word home when we pull into our driveway. Des quickly picked up on this and now we both do this on our daily return home. And guess what that little bugger did a few weeks later. He did our routine when we pulled up to the sitters! “Home” he says…such simple words but a definite heart crusher for me. It’s not bad, I’m glad he thinks of his day care providers as home. They’re a wonderful family. The help raise lots of great kids. Desmond is there all day, and I can see it in his face and physical expressions that he loves them and they love him. It’s just that nobody prepared me to know that my son would love others outside of my family. Seems likes something I would figure out but it’s not. It’s not until someone who isn’t blood tells your son that they love him in front of you that it hits. That you have loveable kid. Other people will love your son. Your son will love someone other than you. Crazy business! So, what does a silly mom like myself do in this situation? I started a new routine for the sitter’s house. There’s nothing like a little jazz fingers and saying “sitters” in a fun voice each morning at 7:00am. He has not picked up on this habit, lol.

Ok, I realize my term Full-Time Non-Mom is a little harsh. I am a mom. I mom with fierceness. So the non-mom doesn’t really apply. So I shall change to my title to Greatest Full-Time Working Mom Ever in the History of Greatest Full-Time Working Moms in the Universe, no make that Galaxy and Beyond!

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