The Challenge of Naming a Baby

I’ve got a few grievances when it comes to naming our little girl. I think the trouble started when I fell in love with an unconventional name. So what does one do nowadays when you want to learn more, you Google it. I googled said name and found some really awful rotten remarks that totally swayed me away from the name. Not only that but I went to close friends and kinda got the same reviews but in a lot less harsher tone. So my opinion was swayed away. (Not all were negative but my hormones had me focusing on the bad rather than good.)

For weeks then I started compiling a list of girl names I liked. One day I would be set on a name because I did truly like it and others enthusiasm for that name just kinda pushed me in that direction. But then I’d take it home, I’d try calling her the “new” name and it just wouldn’t feel right. I couldn’t picture calling her that name five years from now. It didn’t give me a picture of who I imagine her being down the line. I just couldn’t find her any name that was considered “acceptable” by others.

So shortly before Christmas, I went back to the name I first loved and it felt right. Michael loves it. I love it. Desmond loves it. Ok, Desmond doesn’t really have an opinion about it but he can honestly say the name well, and that was important to me. So, we made it official and told our family.  My immediate family wasn’t surprised because they were in the test run department the first go round. But sharing the news with some other family members didn’t go so well. One person laughed so hard I thought I missed the joke. Really!?! It’s that funny!?! And the nickname suggestions have been plenty. Why does my already short name need a nickname? Oh, because you don’t like it that’s why. That too can be frustrating.

And it’s been hard. When people ask me the name I have been lying and saying we don’t know yet. Let me tell you something…if you ask a pregnant lady what the baby name is…you do NOT look disgusted or shocked. You don’t tell an awful story of someone you once knew with that name. You do say that’s nice, or move on to another topic and then go behind their back and talk about it if you please. (Come on, what happened to don’t say anything if you haven’t got anything nice to say?)

If you ask me what the name is, I can guarantee I wasn’t looking for your opinion; I’m just answering your question. But nobody holds back their opinion. So now I’m not saying anymore because some responses are awful.  What’s right for me is not necessarily right for you. Last time I was asked and we shared I was actually laughing from nerves because I felt awkward.

Now you might say, well maybe that name isn’t right for you. But it is. I just don’t know how to handle other people. I would never say anything negative to an expecting mom if she told me a name that I felt was unusual. Because having a baby is stressful enough. You don’t need to give that woman additional stress. So be kind the next time you ask a pregnant lady her baby’s name and make sure you aren’t giving an unwanted opinion. Be glad she feels comfortable enough sharing it with you.  Now if she says “what do you think?” Then all bets are off, have at it. Otherwise, be gentle.

2012 Book Review

 

This was a tough year of reading. I found few gems (in yellow below) and I feel in love with 3 books that I'm very happy to recommend to the world. BUT when you do the math, I only enjoyed about 46% of the books I read. I did not choose wisely this year. Here is my list of reads from 2012:

1.       Lethal by Sandra Brown
2.       Matched by Allyson Braithwaite Condie
3.       Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card
4.       Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi
5.       Is Everyone Hanging Out without Me? (and Other Concerns) by Mindy Kaling
6.       Happy Accidents by Jane Lynch
7.       Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea by Chelsea Handler
8.       The Leopard by Jo Nesbo
9.       Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green and David Levithan
10.   A Storm of Swords by George R.R. Martin
11.   Defending Jacob by William Landay
12.   Iron Cowboy by Diana Palmer
13.   Romancing the Countess by Ashley March
14.   Legend by Marie Lu
15.   A Clash of Kings by George R.R. Martin
16.   Ready Player One by Ernest Cline
17.   Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffenegger
18.   The Maze Runner by James Dashner
19.   Life as We Knew It by Susan Beth Pfeffer
20.   Deadly Little Secret by Laurie Faria Stolarz
21.   Across the Universe by Beth Revis
22.   The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh
23.   Lover Reborn by J.R. Ward
24.   Wonder by R.J. Palacio
25.   Pandemonium by Lauren Oliver
26.   Every Day by David Levithan
27.   The Road by Cormac McCarthy
28.   The Age of Miracles by Karen Thompson Walker
29.   Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
30.   Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn
31.   Hate List by Jennifer Brown
32.   The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
33.   Dark Places by Gillian Flynn
34.   The Hypnotist by Lars Kepler
35.   Think of a Number by John Verdon
36.   Fragile by Lisa Unger
37.   The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon
38.   The Great Gatsby by Scott F. Fitzgerald
39.   The Fault in our Stars by John Green

I would like to highlight my favorite 3 books of 2012. You already know that I like them, so below are the book descriptions from goodreads.com. (To save you some time from looking it up yourself, you were gonna do that right?)

#3 Defending Jacob - Andy Barber has been an assistant district attorney in his suburban Massachusetts county for more than twenty years. He is respected in his community, tenacious in the courtroom, and happy at home with his wife, Laurie, and son, Jacob. But when a shocking crime shatters their New England town, Andy is blindsided by what happens next: His fourteen-year-old son is charged with the murder of a fellow student.

Every parental instinct Andy has rallies to protect his boy. Jacob insists that he is innocent, and Andy believes him. Andy must. He’s his father. But as damning facts and shocking revelations surface, as a marriage threatens to crumble and the trial intensifies, as the crisis reveals how little a father knows about his son, Andy will face a trial of his own—between loyalty and justice, between truth and allegation, between a past he’s tried to bury and a future he cannot conceive.

#2 The Fault in Our Stars - Diagnosed with Stage IV thyroid cancer at 13, Hazel was prepared to die until, at 14, a medical miracle shrunk the tumours in her lungs... for now.

Two years post-miracle, sixteen-year-old Hazel is post-everything else, too; post-high school, post-friends and post-normalcy. And even though she could live for a long time (whatever that means), Hazel lives tethered to an oxygen tank, the tumours tenuously kept at bay with a constant chemical assault.

Enter Augustus Waters. A match made at cancer kid support group, Augustus is gorgeous, in remission, and shockingly to her, interested in Hazel. Being with Augustus is both an unexpected destination and a long-needed journey, pushing Hazel to re-examine how sickness and health, life and death, will define her and the legacy that everyone leaves behind.

#1 Gone Girl - On a warm summer morning in North Carthage, Missouri, it is Nick and Amy Dunne’s fifth wedding anniversary. Presents are being wrapped and reservations are being made when Nick’s clever and beautiful wife disappears from their rented McMansion on the Mississippi River. Husband-of-the-Year Nick isn’t doing himself any favors with cringe-worthy daydreams about the slope and shape of his wife’s head, but passages from Amy's diary reveal the alpha-girl perfectionist could have put anyone dangerously on edge. Under mounting pressure from the police and the media—as well as Amy’s fiercely doting parents—the town golden boy parades an endless series of lies, deceits, and inappropriate behavior. Nick is oddly evasive, and he’s definitely bitter—but is he really a killer?

As the cops close in, every couple in town is soon wondering how well they know the one that they love. With his twin sister, Margo, at his side, Nick stands by his innocence. Trouble is, if Nick didn’t do it, where is that beautiful wife? And what was in that silvery gift box hidden in the back of her bedroom closet?

And that wraps up my reading list of 2012. And the one solid piece of advice I can give…read Gone Girl. Don’t read up about it. Don’t ask about it. The less you know the better. Just pick it up and read. Do it!

Also, if you want my full reviews on any of the books above, become my friend on goodreads.com.

http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/9168007-michelle

Here's to Happy Reading in 2013!

30 and Pregnant

 

Well, you’ve probably already figured out I’m pregnant. Either from my last blog post or from the ultrasound video my husband posted from our last ultrasound. I have to say that ultrasound is what jump kicked my excitement about this pregnancy.

Now don’t get me wrong I was trying, but on August 2^nd, my husband lost his job.  I had just come to the conclusion that we would wait trying until he gets himself settled. Well, life had different plans. On August 9^th I found out I was pregnant. Not only was this baby #2 which scares the crap out of me but my husband has no job as of now. Begin mini freak out now.

Once the news started spreading that I was pregnant I would either get one of two things:  #1 “I hope it’s a girl.” (Yes I hope so too, it would please many many people.) And #2 “Aren’t you excited?” I’ve been kinda faking my excitement. Ok, let me explain myself. First babies are magical. You are naïve. But now, I know better. I am super excited to meet my new little one but I dread waking up in the middle of the night. I dread the diaper explosions. I know better now what’s to come AND to top it all off, I have another one I have to care for as well.  I know, I know it all works out. You make it through.  But I know it’ll be tough…tougher I think this time around.

And this pregnancy has already been tougher on me. I like to think it’s different because it’s a girl. BUT what my reasonable mind tells me it’s because I’m haggard. Ok, that’s a bit harsh. I’m older. I’m wiser. My body is more used this time around then when I had Desmond. And if it wasn’t already apparent to me that I am 30 and pregnant, I have this on my ultrasounds to remind me:

 

 Why do I need to see I’m 30y8mo on my ultrasound? Much more appealing to see 11w2d, no? I just wasn’t prepared to see that I’m on the back half of 30. I know, I’m being melodramatic but it one of the few things that bug me is getting older and not feeling older.

Anyways, when I had the 11 week ultrasound it really got me excited. It looked like a baby.  He/she was a crazy mover. I was able to focus on looking forward to feeling the baby in a few weeks. I was able to let go some of the stress I have held onto.  

As for body image issues, they are awful this time around. I’m even more stressed out about my body this time. I gained 55 pounds with Desmond and loved every minute of it. I wouldn’t hear of being called fat. I was pregnant, damn it.  This time, I look fat. Do I look fat? I’m fat. That’s what goes through my head now. So to help, it’s my personal goal to not break the 35 pound mark. (Wish me luck, I do love to eat.)

Anyways, I’m pregnant with #2. And I’m excited and a bit scared. But it’s definitely going to be a fun journey. (And for those waiting to know…sometime early December will be when I find out the sex.)

Adventures in Potty Training

I must be doing something wrong. This past week I read the following quotes which were accompanied by major eye rolls:

"I love changing diapers. I love it. I love every moment of it, it's so beautiful. I love it all!" ~ Beyonce

(Regarding potty training) “Basically, [you have to] take them to the military! I took him to the military! No, it’s really just consistency and love and support and it was just amazing.” ~Alicia Keys~

Who LOVES changing diapers?!? Who calls potty training amazing!?!  Though I agree with Alicia, it is definitely about consistency and it feels amazing when your kid gets those few moments right but overall the experience is a nightmare. Ok, fine, I’ll accept that perhaps my child is more difficult than others. But I can’t imagine I’m the only person to think this a long and tedious stage.

Desmond started potty training two months after his third birthday. The start date was just randomly chosen. It was just decided it was time to do it. The first day, Desmond sat on the potty every 30 minutes; we even let him set the timer. (I swear pushing the buttons on the microwave was a real pleasure for him, who’d thunk?) He was wearing big boy underwear and the 30 minute rule wouldn’t always stop accidents. So we decided to let him go naked from the waist down. It worked. He would definitely know nothing was on him to catch his pee. His success rate increased significantly. After two days of walking in the buff, the boy had it down. We ventured back into big boy underpants. It was a success.

Now…comes the fun part. We noticed a few days in that Desmond hadn’t pooped. Well, I know for a fact he has at least one daily dump at 5:30pm. Almost without fail, he would shit his shorts on the way home from the sitters. I would say it was day four when my son starting begging for a diaper. He knew he had to go but didn’t want to go in his new underwear or the potty. It was so hard for me to deny him but if I did it once, he’d just want to do it again. So I turned to my dear sister who has raised three boys for help. Desmond is now on ½ capful of Miralax every day until he learns to go regularly on the potty.

Well, I believe it was day 5 when the big explosion happened. Desmond could no longer resist the pressure in his intestines and left a wet stinky trail through my kitchen and into my front room before I picked him up and got him into the bathroom. To make matters worse, Desmond flipped out about the mess in his pants before I could get both of his legs through the leg hole. So he kicked his leg so viciously that he became a human poop sprinkler in my bathroom. I kid you not, two weeks later and I’m still finding specs on my wall that I’m cleaning off. Me and my bathroom were a big brown mess. It was one of the grossest things that I’ve ever done as a parent.

Now two weeks later, Desmond is a pee in the potty champ. We use special stickers on a homemade chart after every time he goes. He gets these "deluxe" stickers for going #2. Unfortunately after two weeks he only has 3 "deluxe" stickers. That’s right; my little guy is still holding his turds and fighting using the potty for #2. But I’m being diligent and consistent and it’s working. I give him his Miralax every day and it has made his bowels soft making it more appealing to go. (I mean who wants to poop a rock hard corn-on-the-cob side turd?)

(Des’s ghetto chart…his pee stickers have migrated to the wrong side too.)

And now the joy of having a potty trained child has started. Yes, I love not investing in diapers. But do I love running to the potty in the middle of gymnastics class? Do I enjoy spending my entire time at the library in the bathroom because poop is coming that never comes? Do I love having to dress and redress him every time because he refuses to do his business with clothes on? No not really. But I can say I love being a parent. I love that this will make him an independent kid. I love that he refers to his pee as making apple juice and his poop as snakes.

And for those of you who have made it this far into my blog, I say thank you. And I’ll let you in on a little secret. This here momma can expect to do this training stuff all over again approximately April 2016!  

A Quick Apology

For those who are faithful readers, may have noticed I haven’t been around much. Well, there’s a reason…I’ve been tongue tied. My last entry was May 23^rd which is about 2 weeks before my life was changed this summer. For those who don’t already know, Michael and I had his sister and her family move in with us on June 4^th. (Two Adults, two kids (with another born in July), 3 Dogs and 2 Cats) They were moving up from Florida and need a transitional home for their move. They are still with us.

Now I say tongue tied because I blog about my life. And to much of Michael’s irritation, it’s usually about him and/or us. Well, with a new family living in very small and cramped quarters with me can easily led to many blog topics. But they didn’t choose to marry me. So I kinda feel blocked about the coming and goings about my life; hence the lack of blogs.

Top the tongue tie with my new goodreads.com addiction, where I write reviews of all the books I read, I’ve been getting my writing fix on there. (Seriously if you’re a reader, join it. Love meeting other readers, getting book recommendations and I’ve even won two free books in their giveaways. Go on, join!)

But these are excuses too. There’s plenty in my life that’s happening that I could blog about but I’ve just taken to silence. I apologize. Starting now, I’m gonna set a goal of writing at least one blog every two weeks. I’m setting the bar low because I don’t want to break yet another goal this year. (Seriously, my year end wrap up when I see how many goals I completed the past year is gonna be fugly.)

Here’s a quick look at what I’ve been up too since I stopped blogging:

Went Camping with Friends…

Got Dirty in my first mud run…

 Became a flesh eating unicorn for a day…

Got to be a punch happy Mario…

And got fabulous at the Arlington Million…

Another Round of Random Ramblings

I’ve fallen off the wagon lately. What wagon? Lately, it feels like everything. I have so many goals and so many things on my to do list that I find myself not doing any because I can’t possibly get them all done. So if I can’t do it all, why do any? I know, I know. That’s an awful attitude to have but I can’t shake it. I’m stress eating and my defeated attitude is carried on my face. I swear if my husband states I look tired one more time, I might just completely go hide in a corner somewhere. So one goal I can complete and lift my spirits up is posting a new blog for you all. Thing is…I don’t have enough material on any one thing. I do keep little scraps of paper with random ideas with me at all times and have decided to compile this weird list of things I’ve thought recently. Here goes my verbal diarrhea…

~ I think LOL and j/k are used to lighten the truth. Whenever I see those used I think “they really do dislike my shirt…j/k!” See what I’m saying?

~ I’m always drawn to the book section at Target. I kid you not, I want to write all the books down and put them at hold at the library. I have enough already on my list to read, but I can’t stop myself from shopping at Target; my list will forever be growing.

~ If you pee when I’m around I will for a split second think about the strength of your stream. (Power washers make me chuckle…I’m so immature sometimes.)

~ Things I was into as a kid: The Bermuda Triangle, aliens, haunted anything, Oregon Trail, Goosebumps, Unsolved Mysteries and X-Files. I suppose anything that could be considered spooky, now that I look at this list typed out.

~ I read a story with the most unique punishment I’ve ever read. Not only was it a good way to curse someone but it made me laugh. “I hope you step on Legos forever.” Now that would be awful.

~ I’ve recently become addicted to buzzfeed.com. I kid you not, have time to kill and want to be entertained…then check it out.

~ I love goodreads.com. But like Target, it gives me way too many good book suggestions. But on a bonus side they have book giveaways. I don’t feel complete until I’ve signed up for a least 3 everyday.

~ I want to make a video that appears on Tosh.0.

~ I don’t understand why anybody would love The Wedding Crashers or Old School.

~ I’m ready for a new hair color. Being natural has been great but I’m much too adventurous to stay in the safe zone.

~ When I see an article photo showing “Fattest Cities” and it has someone’s body with the head cut off (or that black bar across their eyes), I think “I wonder if the person in this photo saw and recognized themselves.”

What did I tell ya? Pretty random eh?

But I Don't Feel Old

(Mom and me)

I went on holiday with my mom this past weekend. (I feel very European saying holiday just so you know.) And my mom said something that really resonated with me. She said, “I don’t feel 60.” And I know exactly what she means but in the thirty year old version. Despite evidence that I am aging, I don’t feel aged. I still feel like the little sister in my family. I feel like I’m old enough to have a kid but young enough to be really cool to them. (That’ll fade fast I’m sure.) I sometimes look at my clothing choices now and think “should I be wearing this trend?” I’m telling you that 30 feels different and it’s awkward. You’re not in your teens and can be carefree. You can be irresponsible and you’re expected to make lots of mistakes. And you’re not 20 where you’re expected to be a little wild, enjoying your new freedom from home. But your 30…and to me it’s a weird mix between feeling like I’m 20 but not looking like it. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I’m haggard or anything but I’ve noticed some changes. And each year my definition of “older” is moved up. When I was 20, 30 was old. Now I’m 30 and 40 is the new age I consider distinguished and so on and so on. It’s consistently evolving based on where I am in my stage of life. But despite my youthful approach to living my life, there are a few reminders that make me feel the progress of time….

Things That Make me Feel Old

1.  Finding another grey hair. Finding one could be a fluke, but finding another is confirmation.

2. I once had a dream of being in the army. I believe enlistment is cutoff at 35. Which means one  dream of mine officially dies in 5 years time.

3. I have a permanent crease line on my neck.

4. I’m getting closer to that 35 year mark where pregnancies fall into “higher risk.”

5. When I do jumping jacks I have to squeeze my kegel muscles due to fear of peeing my pants.

6. Each year it appears my pubic region expands. (And I sing to myself while grooming "welcome to the jungle!")

I’m happy to be aging though. (No really, I am.)  There are so many more things to come that I’m looking forward to. Most of which involve Desmond and watching him tackle life.  And the other stuff involve things that I still want to do with my own life and with my husband. So, my motto “you’re only as old as you feel.” And right now, I’m only pushing 25. 

 What makes you feel old? Young?