2012 Book Review

 

This was a tough year of reading. I found few gems (in yellow below) and I feel in love with 3 books that I'm very happy to recommend to the world. BUT when you do the math, I only enjoyed about 46% of the books I read. I did not choose wisely this year. Here is my list of reads from 2012:

1.       Lethal by Sandra Brown
2.       Matched by Allyson Braithwaite Condie
3.       Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card
4.       Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi
5.       Is Everyone Hanging Out without Me? (and Other Concerns) by Mindy Kaling
6.       Happy Accidents by Jane Lynch
7.       Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea by Chelsea Handler
8.       The Leopard by Jo Nesbo
9.       Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green and David Levithan
10.   A Storm of Swords by George R.R. Martin
11.   Defending Jacob by William Landay
12.   Iron Cowboy by Diana Palmer
13.   Romancing the Countess by Ashley March
14.   Legend by Marie Lu
15.   A Clash of Kings by George R.R. Martin
16.   Ready Player One by Ernest Cline
17.   Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffenegger
18.   The Maze Runner by James Dashner
19.   Life as We Knew It by Susan Beth Pfeffer
20.   Deadly Little Secret by Laurie Faria Stolarz
21.   Across the Universe by Beth Revis
22.   The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh
23.   Lover Reborn by J.R. Ward
24.   Wonder by R.J. Palacio
25.   Pandemonium by Lauren Oliver
26.   Every Day by David Levithan
27.   The Road by Cormac McCarthy
28.   The Age of Miracles by Karen Thompson Walker
29.   Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
30.   Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn
31.   Hate List by Jennifer Brown
32.   The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
33.   Dark Places by Gillian Flynn
34.   The Hypnotist by Lars Kepler
35.   Think of a Number by John Verdon
36.   Fragile by Lisa Unger
37.   The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon
38.   The Great Gatsby by Scott F. Fitzgerald
39.   The Fault in our Stars by John Green

I would like to highlight my favorite 3 books of 2012. You already know that I like them, so below are the book descriptions from goodreads.com. (To save you some time from looking it up yourself, you were gonna do that right?)

#3 Defending Jacob - Andy Barber has been an assistant district attorney in his suburban Massachusetts county for more than twenty years. He is respected in his community, tenacious in the courtroom, and happy at home with his wife, Laurie, and son, Jacob. But when a shocking crime shatters their New England town, Andy is blindsided by what happens next: His fourteen-year-old son is charged with the murder of a fellow student.

Every parental instinct Andy has rallies to protect his boy. Jacob insists that he is innocent, and Andy believes him. Andy must. He’s his father. But as damning facts and shocking revelations surface, as a marriage threatens to crumble and the trial intensifies, as the crisis reveals how little a father knows about his son, Andy will face a trial of his own—between loyalty and justice, between truth and allegation, between a past he’s tried to bury and a future he cannot conceive.

#2 The Fault in Our Stars - Diagnosed with Stage IV thyroid cancer at 13, Hazel was prepared to die until, at 14, a medical miracle shrunk the tumours in her lungs... for now.

Two years post-miracle, sixteen-year-old Hazel is post-everything else, too; post-high school, post-friends and post-normalcy. And even though she could live for a long time (whatever that means), Hazel lives tethered to an oxygen tank, the tumours tenuously kept at bay with a constant chemical assault.

Enter Augustus Waters. A match made at cancer kid support group, Augustus is gorgeous, in remission, and shockingly to her, interested in Hazel. Being with Augustus is both an unexpected destination and a long-needed journey, pushing Hazel to re-examine how sickness and health, life and death, will define her and the legacy that everyone leaves behind.

#1 Gone Girl - On a warm summer morning in North Carthage, Missouri, it is Nick and Amy Dunne’s fifth wedding anniversary. Presents are being wrapped and reservations are being made when Nick’s clever and beautiful wife disappears from their rented McMansion on the Mississippi River. Husband-of-the-Year Nick isn’t doing himself any favors with cringe-worthy daydreams about the slope and shape of his wife’s head, but passages from Amy's diary reveal the alpha-girl perfectionist could have put anyone dangerously on edge. Under mounting pressure from the police and the media—as well as Amy’s fiercely doting parents—the town golden boy parades an endless series of lies, deceits, and inappropriate behavior. Nick is oddly evasive, and he’s definitely bitter—but is he really a killer?

As the cops close in, every couple in town is soon wondering how well they know the one that they love. With his twin sister, Margo, at his side, Nick stands by his innocence. Trouble is, if Nick didn’t do it, where is that beautiful wife? And what was in that silvery gift box hidden in the back of her bedroom closet?

And that wraps up my reading list of 2012. And the one solid piece of advice I can give…read Gone Girl. Don’t read up about it. Don’t ask about it. The less you know the better. Just pick it up and read. Do it!

Also, if you want my full reviews on any of the books above, become my friend on goodreads.com.

http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/9168007-michelle

Here's to Happy Reading in 2013!

30 and Pregnant

 

Well, you’ve probably already figured out I’m pregnant. Either from my last blog post or from the ultrasound video my husband posted from our last ultrasound. I have to say that ultrasound is what jump kicked my excitement about this pregnancy.

Now don’t get me wrong I was trying, but on August 2^nd, my husband lost his job.  I had just come to the conclusion that we would wait trying until he gets himself settled. Well, life had different plans. On August 9^th I found out I was pregnant. Not only was this baby #2 which scares the crap out of me but my husband has no job as of now. Begin mini freak out now.

Once the news started spreading that I was pregnant I would either get one of two things:  #1 “I hope it’s a girl.” (Yes I hope so too, it would please many many people.) And #2 “Aren’t you excited?” I’ve been kinda faking my excitement. Ok, let me explain myself. First babies are magical. You are naïve. But now, I know better. I am super excited to meet my new little one but I dread waking up in the middle of the night. I dread the diaper explosions. I know better now what’s to come AND to top it all off, I have another one I have to care for as well.  I know, I know it all works out. You make it through.  But I know it’ll be tough…tougher I think this time around.

And this pregnancy has already been tougher on me. I like to think it’s different because it’s a girl. BUT what my reasonable mind tells me it’s because I’m haggard. Ok, that’s a bit harsh. I’m older. I’m wiser. My body is more used this time around then when I had Desmond. And if it wasn’t already apparent to me that I am 30 and pregnant, I have this on my ultrasounds to remind me:

 

 Why do I need to see I’m 30y8mo on my ultrasound? Much more appealing to see 11w2d, no? I just wasn’t prepared to see that I’m on the back half of 30. I know, I’m being melodramatic but it one of the few things that bug me is getting older and not feeling older.

Anyways, when I had the 11 week ultrasound it really got me excited. It looked like a baby.  He/she was a crazy mover. I was able to focus on looking forward to feeling the baby in a few weeks. I was able to let go some of the stress I have held onto.  

As for body image issues, they are awful this time around. I’m even more stressed out about my body this time. I gained 55 pounds with Desmond and loved every minute of it. I wouldn’t hear of being called fat. I was pregnant, damn it.  This time, I look fat. Do I look fat? I’m fat. That’s what goes through my head now. So to help, it’s my personal goal to not break the 35 pound mark. (Wish me luck, I do love to eat.)

Anyways, I’m pregnant with #2. And I’m excited and a bit scared. But it’s definitely going to be a fun journey. (And for those waiting to know…sometime early December will be when I find out the sex.)

Adventures in Potty Training

I must be doing something wrong. This past week I read the following quotes which were accompanied by major eye rolls:

"I love changing diapers. I love it. I love every moment of it, it's so beautiful. I love it all!" ~ Beyonce

(Regarding potty training) “Basically, [you have to] take them to the military! I took him to the military! No, it’s really just consistency and love and support and it was just amazing.” ~Alicia Keys~

Who LOVES changing diapers?!? Who calls potty training amazing!?!  Though I agree with Alicia, it is definitely about consistency and it feels amazing when your kid gets those few moments right but overall the experience is a nightmare. Ok, fine, I’ll accept that perhaps my child is more difficult than others. But I can’t imagine I’m the only person to think this a long and tedious stage.

Desmond started potty training two months after his third birthday. The start date was just randomly chosen. It was just decided it was time to do it. The first day, Desmond sat on the potty every 30 minutes; we even let him set the timer. (I swear pushing the buttons on the microwave was a real pleasure for him, who’d thunk?) He was wearing big boy underwear and the 30 minute rule wouldn’t always stop accidents. So we decided to let him go naked from the waist down. It worked. He would definitely know nothing was on him to catch his pee. His success rate increased significantly. After two days of walking in the buff, the boy had it down. We ventured back into big boy underpants. It was a success.

Now…comes the fun part. We noticed a few days in that Desmond hadn’t pooped. Well, I know for a fact he has at least one daily dump at 5:30pm. Almost without fail, he would shit his shorts on the way home from the sitters. I would say it was day four when my son starting begging for a diaper. He knew he had to go but didn’t want to go in his new underwear or the potty. It was so hard for me to deny him but if I did it once, he’d just want to do it again. So I turned to my dear sister who has raised three boys for help. Desmond is now on ½ capful of Miralax every day until he learns to go regularly on the potty.

Well, I believe it was day 5 when the big explosion happened. Desmond could no longer resist the pressure in his intestines and left a wet stinky trail through my kitchen and into my front room before I picked him up and got him into the bathroom. To make matters worse, Desmond flipped out about the mess in his pants before I could get both of his legs through the leg hole. So he kicked his leg so viciously that he became a human poop sprinkler in my bathroom. I kid you not, two weeks later and I’m still finding specs on my wall that I’m cleaning off. Me and my bathroom were a big brown mess. It was one of the grossest things that I’ve ever done as a parent.

Now two weeks later, Desmond is a pee in the potty champ. We use special stickers on a homemade chart after every time he goes. He gets these "deluxe" stickers for going #2. Unfortunately after two weeks he only has 3 "deluxe" stickers. That’s right; my little guy is still holding his turds and fighting using the potty for #2. But I’m being diligent and consistent and it’s working. I give him his Miralax every day and it has made his bowels soft making it more appealing to go. (I mean who wants to poop a rock hard corn-on-the-cob side turd?)

(Des’s ghetto chart…his pee stickers have migrated to the wrong side too.)

And now the joy of having a potty trained child has started. Yes, I love not investing in diapers. But do I love running to the potty in the middle of gymnastics class? Do I enjoy spending my entire time at the library in the bathroom because poop is coming that never comes? Do I love having to dress and redress him every time because he refuses to do his business with clothes on? No not really. But I can say I love being a parent. I love that this will make him an independent kid. I love that he refers to his pee as making apple juice and his poop as snakes.

And for those of you who have made it this far into my blog, I say thank you. And I’ll let you in on a little secret. This here momma can expect to do this training stuff all over again approximately April 2016!  

A Quick Apology

For those who are faithful readers, may have noticed I haven’t been around much. Well, there’s a reason…I’ve been tongue tied. My last entry was May 23^rd which is about 2 weeks before my life was changed this summer. For those who don’t already know, Michael and I had his sister and her family move in with us on June 4^th. (Two Adults, two kids (with another born in July), 3 Dogs and 2 Cats) They were moving up from Florida and need a transitional home for their move. They are still with us.

Now I say tongue tied because I blog about my life. And to much of Michael’s irritation, it’s usually about him and/or us. Well, with a new family living in very small and cramped quarters with me can easily led to many blog topics. But they didn’t choose to marry me. So I kinda feel blocked about the coming and goings about my life; hence the lack of blogs.

Top the tongue tie with my new goodreads.com addiction, where I write reviews of all the books I read, I’ve been getting my writing fix on there. (Seriously if you’re a reader, join it. Love meeting other readers, getting book recommendations and I’ve even won two free books in their giveaways. Go on, join!)

But these are excuses too. There’s plenty in my life that’s happening that I could blog about but I’ve just taken to silence. I apologize. Starting now, I’m gonna set a goal of writing at least one blog every two weeks. I’m setting the bar low because I don’t want to break yet another goal this year. (Seriously, my year end wrap up when I see how many goals I completed the past year is gonna be fugly.)

Here’s a quick look at what I’ve been up too since I stopped blogging:

Went Camping with Friends…

Got Dirty in my first mud run…

 Became a flesh eating unicorn for a day…

Got to be a punch happy Mario…

And got fabulous at the Arlington Million…

Another Round of Random Ramblings

I’ve fallen off the wagon lately. What wagon? Lately, it feels like everything. I have so many goals and so many things on my to do list that I find myself not doing any because I can’t possibly get them all done. So if I can’t do it all, why do any? I know, I know. That’s an awful attitude to have but I can’t shake it. I’m stress eating and my defeated attitude is carried on my face. I swear if my husband states I look tired one more time, I might just completely go hide in a corner somewhere. So one goal I can complete and lift my spirits up is posting a new blog for you all. Thing is…I don’t have enough material on any one thing. I do keep little scraps of paper with random ideas with me at all times and have decided to compile this weird list of things I’ve thought recently. Here goes my verbal diarrhea…

~ I think LOL and j/k are used to lighten the truth. Whenever I see those used I think “they really do dislike my shirt…j/k!” See what I’m saying?

~ I’m always drawn to the book section at Target. I kid you not, I want to write all the books down and put them at hold at the library. I have enough already on my list to read, but I can’t stop myself from shopping at Target; my list will forever be growing.

~ If you pee when I’m around I will for a split second think about the strength of your stream. (Power washers make me chuckle…I’m so immature sometimes.)

~ Things I was into as a kid: The Bermuda Triangle, aliens, haunted anything, Oregon Trail, Goosebumps, Unsolved Mysteries and X-Files. I suppose anything that could be considered spooky, now that I look at this list typed out.

~ I read a story with the most unique punishment I’ve ever read. Not only was it a good way to curse someone but it made me laugh. “I hope you step on Legos forever.” Now that would be awful.

~ I’ve recently become addicted to buzzfeed.com. I kid you not, have time to kill and want to be entertained…then check it out.

~ I love goodreads.com. But like Target, it gives me way too many good book suggestions. But on a bonus side they have book giveaways. I don’t feel complete until I’ve signed up for a least 3 everyday.

~ I want to make a video that appears on Tosh.0.

~ I don’t understand why anybody would love The Wedding Crashers or Old School.

~ I’m ready for a new hair color. Being natural has been great but I’m much too adventurous to stay in the safe zone.

~ When I see an article photo showing “Fattest Cities” and it has someone’s body with the head cut off (or that black bar across their eyes), I think “I wonder if the person in this photo saw and recognized themselves.”

What did I tell ya? Pretty random eh?

But I Don't Feel Old

(Mom and me)

I went on holiday with my mom this past weekend. (I feel very European saying holiday just so you know.) And my mom said something that really resonated with me. She said, “I don’t feel 60.” And I know exactly what she means but in the thirty year old version. Despite evidence that I am aging, I don’t feel aged. I still feel like the little sister in my family. I feel like I’m old enough to have a kid but young enough to be really cool to them. (That’ll fade fast I’m sure.) I sometimes look at my clothing choices now and think “should I be wearing this trend?” I’m telling you that 30 feels different and it’s awkward. You’re not in your teens and can be carefree. You can be irresponsible and you’re expected to make lots of mistakes. And you’re not 20 where you’re expected to be a little wild, enjoying your new freedom from home. But your 30…and to me it’s a weird mix between feeling like I’m 20 but not looking like it. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I’m haggard or anything but I’ve noticed some changes. And each year my definition of “older” is moved up. When I was 20, 30 was old. Now I’m 30 and 40 is the new age I consider distinguished and so on and so on. It’s consistently evolving based on where I am in my stage of life. But despite my youthful approach to living my life, there are a few reminders that make me feel the progress of time….

Things That Make me Feel Old

1.  Finding another grey hair. Finding one could be a fluke, but finding another is confirmation.

2. I once had a dream of being in the army. I believe enlistment is cutoff at 35. Which means one  dream of mine officially dies in 5 years time.

3. I have a permanent crease line on my neck.

4. I’m getting closer to that 35 year mark where pregnancies fall into “higher risk.”

5. When I do jumping jacks I have to squeeze my kegel muscles due to fear of peeing my pants.

6. Each year it appears my pubic region expands. (And I sing to myself while grooming "welcome to the jungle!")

I’m happy to be aging though. (No really, I am.)  There are so many more things to come that I’m looking forward to. Most of which involve Desmond and watching him tackle life.  And the other stuff involve things that I still want to do with my own life and with my husband. So, my motto “you’re only as old as you feel.” And right now, I’m only pushing 25. 

 What makes you feel old? Young?

The Modern Classics Bucket List

So I see today Yahoo! has several lists titled “100 Movies to See Before You Die.” As I skim the different categories; Funniest Movies, All-Time Classics and Modern Classics, I thought “why don’t I try and concur one of these lists?” So I looked at each, listed which movies I hadn’t seen before, counted those up and decided I was going to try conquering…Modern Classics! (For those curious…there were 57 Funniest Movies I hadn’t seen and 74 All-Time Greats).

My goal is to see as many 52 Modern Classic below before the end of the year. And ideally I’d like to have a follow-up blog stating which ones I truly thought belong on the list because as I look it over I have intentionally chosen not to watch some of these, tried watching them and gave up or just plain haven’t’ heard of them before. We’ll see where the adventure takes me. But for now, I’ll begin with Netflix Instant Watch…they have 9 of the movies, so there’s my start.

Take a look below…any on my missing list surprise you? For me, I still can’t believe I’ve never seen Finding Nemo and Thelma & Louise. How’d I miss those?  Have you seen of these and are thinking “she’s crazy, that movie blows!” Or do you see a favorite here? Let me know.

Modern Classics I’m Missing:

1. Goodfellas
2. Thelma & Louise
3. Hard Boiled
4. Malcolm X
5. The Player
6. Raise the Red Lantern
7. Supercop
8. Unforgiven
9. Chungking Express
10. Ed Wood
11. Four Weddings and a Funeral
12. The Shawshank Redemption
13. Red
14. Before Sunrise
15. Living in Oblivion
16. Sense and Sensibility
17. The Usual Suspects
18. Big Night
19. Dead Man
20. Ghost in the Shell
21. Lone Star
22. Secrets & Lies
23. Trainspotting
24. Eve's Bayou
25. L.A. Confidential
26. The Sweet Hereafter
27. The Big Lebowski
28. Fireworks
29. Out of Sight
30. All About my Mother
31. Princess Mononoke
32. Run Lola Run
33. Three Kings
34. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
35. Yi Yi
36. Amelie
37. Donnie Darko
38. In the Mood for Love
39. Mulholland Drive
40. The Pianist
41. Y Tu Mama Tambien
42. City of God
43. Elephant
44. Finding Nemo
45. A History of Violence
46. The Lives of Others
47. 4 Months, 3 Weeks, and 2 Days
48. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
49. Michael Clayton
50. No Country for Old Men
51. Slumdog Millionaire
52. The Hurt Locker

To see the full list go:

http://movies.yahoo.com/photos/100-movies-to-see-before-you-die-the-modern-classics-slideshow-2087/#crsl=%252Fphotos%252F100-movies-to-see-before-you-die-the-modern-classics-slideshow-2087%252F100-movies-to-see-before-you-die-the-modern-classics-photo-1333492235.html

Diary of a Fat Girl - Let's Get Physical

I think I’ve found the solution to weight loss for me. NO NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS! These past few weeks, I’ve really been kicking butt losing weight. Normally about this time, I’m depressed because I’m nowhere near hitting my resolutions. And it’s a relief not to feel the extra pressure from those failing resolutions. So that’s a small suggestion I give you for next year. If it worked for me, maybe it’ll work for you.

So let’s talk some numbers here. I’m down 18.2 lbs. in 10 weeks. (For those math challenged that’s 1.82 lbs. /week average.) Not too shabby!!!! So how am I reaching this you might ask? Basically, myfitnesspal.com. That’s it. I’m tracking my calories and striving to stay under my caloric goals for each day. And if I go over, I go over. Either way, I’m tracking and keeping an eye on what I’m eating. You’d be amazed what you’ll turn down once you realize how much calories/fat is in something. Knowledge is power folks.

But I’m not completely lethargic. I do have a part-time job that requires me to either roller skate or serve food for several hours. I bought a heart rate monitor to wear while and I usually average burning about 1,800 calories each time I work. So that has definitely helped too.

I’ve also had a weight loss competition going on at work to get me motivated in the first place. I’m a very visual person, so when I saw my name on the company bulletin board, I made it a goal to see me hitting my goals. Not only do I see this, but others will too. It was nice getting congrats throughout the 12 week challenge. And I’m happy to announce that I came in 2nd place. (And I’m $95 richer, yahoo!)

So now, what? Well, I’m glad to see that my company is doing another competition starting April 18th. Despite being on a roll, I still don’t think I’m a fully reformed from my old eating habits. So the extra motivation is great to keep me eating healthy. I know for a fact that I still stress eat. When Desmond was sick last month, it was almost pretty much a free for all. But I didn’t let that week and a half dictate the rest of my year. I stopped the naughty behavior and moved on. And as a dear friend pointed out; I didn’t stress eat completely like I would have. I may have gained two pounds but had I been the old/old Michelle, that would have been ten instead. So not all is fail.

Another thing I have going for me….DIRTY GIRL! On June 30th, me and my teammates are running the Dirty Girl 5k. So, this is actually getting me pumped up to exercise. So I have introduced myself to Jillian. I borrowed a friend’s copy of 30 Day Shred and I’m fitting this into a night routine. I gotta say, it’s a butt kicker thus far. I like that it’s only a 20 minute workout. It’s long enough that I feel the pain the next day but short enough that I don’t really have an excuse not to do the video. Do I really want to work out at 8:30 when Desmond is in bed? No not really. But what would I be doing otherwise…watching TV or reading a book. So that’s my new routine for now.

So in a nutshell, things have just lined up for me. I’m in the zone mentally and since I’m already on the ball, I’m gonna keep it rolling. I’m hoping to get to my goal weight of 190 by the time of Dirty Girl; keep your fingers crossed for me.

And since I had so much fun taking silly photos at lunch…here are the photos that didn’t make top shot..

Turd Talk

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged. I apologize. I can see a trend that when American Idol is on, I blog less. I’m in an office pool and I write a weekly recap of my thoughts and send to other contestants in our group; which really fulfills my need to write something, hence no new blogs. And I don’t want this blog to become an American Idol recap otherwise I’d post those recaps, so again another reason no blog. SOOOO, I’ve decided to break that cycle with a light and fluffy piece I’m calling Turd Talk.

I have a usual amount of poop related instances that I’m going to share with you today. (And I’m not even going to mention husband-centric stories, cause that’s many blog onto itself. These are all me.)

Embarrassing Story #1 – I remember a time in my relationship that I was not comfortable doing #2 anywhere near my boyfriend Mr. Michaelson. I would say for at least the first two years of our relationship, I would excuse myself to go home if I felt the need to pinch off a loaf. So, I’m at his parents’ house and I’ve got to doodie. Michael, bless his heart, convinces me to stay and use his mom’s bathroom. It’s one of those occasions that if I go home, I’ll stay home but the night is still kind of young and he just wants his super-hot girlfriend to stick around a bit longer. I relent. And what happens? The first time I shit at his house, I clog the damn toilet! Better yet, there’s no plunger to get my linkin’ log loose and flushed away. I have to ask for assistance because I don’t know where in the house their plunger is stored. No matter the fact that everyone poops, it’s still highly embarrassing to ask your boyfriend for a plunger for your extra-large dump.

Embarrassing Story #2 – I fart. I fart a lot. I am not embarrassed by farts. I feel like it’s a built-in funny joke that everyone in the world possesses. So, imagine me alone in my car. I have to fart. No big deal right? I’m alone, and there’s no one to offend or smell my brew, so I let loose. This particular fart requires a very slight bit of push. It feels a bit funny but I ignore that, whatever. I arrive at work and I get busy working. I take my first bathroom break and I notice my moment of gas was a SHART! (Urban dictionary that if for some crazy reason you don’t know what a shart is.) So what do I do? I tell my nearest co-worker I’m taking a super early break if the boss asks and I run to Target. I get baby wipes to clean my rear end and new underwear. When I return to work, the boss isn’t happy I ran out. I blame my non-existent period to my boss. I understand her reasoning to please talk to her before I leave but I didn’t know how to say “I didn’t want to stand in your small office and risk you smelling my feces.” It was not an enjoyable experience.

Some observations about my Droppings:

1. I always look afterwards. Dr. Oz says that’s ok.

2. I’m consistently surprised at the size. I’ll have ones that I’m sure will be super long and I find they are nugget sized. Or others that came out so quick, they gotta be tiny but they actually wrap around the porcelain.

3. I absolutely can’t go in a woman’s restroom if others are around. Not gonna happen.

4. It once smelled like spaghetti and I found it disturbing.

5. I wipe front to back. Back to front (not super high, don’t want dookie near my cootie). Front to back. If I need to repeat, I do all three wipes again until satisfied.

I’ve got a few other stories but I think I’ll keep those in storage for another rainy day. Thanks for reading my little ditty on Turd talk. I hope I at least made you chuckle.

My First PMS Bout (I think)

It’s not often I write a downer blog but this one is. So run scarred now. You’ll find no humor here. I literally just want to publically complain for the next hundred words or so. (Praying it gives me relief or at the least give you fair warning why I’ve been a complete bitch lately.)

My attitude as of late…ANNOYED! Everything and everyone is annoying me this week. I want to violently hit something. I want to be sarcastic. I want to scream. I’ve never suffered from PMS. Never. I’m serious. And thank god, because I imagine that’s how women feel on a monthly basis. I wouldn’t be able to take this feeling all the time. (Just look up more info on PMS, that’s definitely what I’m going through right now. Did you know that PMS is more often in women between the ages 20 -40 and have at least one child? I totally meet those requirements.)

My poor husband asked me why I’m so fiesty and I have no real reason why. (I guess I should say, it’s hormonal but that feels like an easy out.) I just know that a certain someone’s crunchy chip bag eating has me on edge. “YES you got all the yogurt out of your container; NOW stop scrapping the bottom for more!” I don’t want to hear you talk to yourself. I don’t want that chain email. I can’t control my eye roll and body tension when something I say is crystal clear to me and not to you. How dare you ask me questions!?! I want to forget my manners and be rude. I want to be mean. But because I was raised better, I feel like I just keep absorbing the annoyances and they just keep building up.

So, I vow to go home. Take care of Desmond (who is the only one not feeling my wrath) and then I think I need to kick my own ass or something. Perhaps my honey could channel Cher and slap me across the face shouting “Snap out of it!” Whatever it is, it needs to go. And it’s starting now. Perhaps if I make myself smile more, I’ll internalize the look on my face. All I know is, I’m desperate to shake this and I’m thankful I’m not normally an overly annoyed person. And if none of this works, I can’t wait till my period comes and relieves these symptoms. Then I’ll pray that this isn’t a new trend to my monthly cycles.

Today, yesterday and the day before would have been days I ate myself “happy”. But I’m still going strong on counting calories, at least I haven’t rec’d that for myself. (There’s a positive; I must focus on that.)

End rant.

(How do you relieve stress? I can’t promise your answers won’t annoy me even though I asked. I’m in that weird of a mood.)

DIY Project #1

I am in the process of redecorating my master bedroom. The room is bare, pending paint and new furniture. And while that is in slow progress, I’ve been looking for accessories to fit the room. Well, I have yet to find any type of art to hang above our bed. So, I found a few DIY projects and thought, I can do this. But can I really?

So here’s is how the project started – Blank canvases purchased at Hobby Lobby (used 40% coupon on each, yahoo!)

I then covered the canvas in book pages. (FYI…I used Twilight pages for a hint of romance)

I used a mixture of 2 parts water to 1 part school glue to adhere the pages to the canvas. (Had I stopped here, I would have liked my canvas better but nope, things shall continue.) Since my bedroom will have pops of yellow, I wanted the canvas to be tinted yellow. I used a mixture of water and Martha Stewart Acrylic Paint and tested on a small section to make sure it was transparent enough.

Now comes the art skills…which I lack. So here is the unintentional gothic/Halloween tree that made it onto the canvas.

Too quote my mother, “I don’t hate it.”

But here was the inspiration…not even close…

My branches are way too thick to add in the little leaves blowing in the wind. And it’s just much too spooky of a tree to really go with the flow of the room I have envisioned.

So I’m stuck.

And that’s why this is called DIY Project #1…because Project #2 will probably end up right on top of this one. Back to the drawing board.

Diary of a Fat Girl - Bien Trucha

Oh….my….goodness!

My husband and I had a much needed date night this past Saturday. Between our three jobs and our handsome little son, it’s hard to go out and just be a couple. Well, the deck was stacked in our favor. Desmond’s grandpa wanted an overnight with the little guy and we had a gift certificate to redeem at Bien Trucha. And let me just state…best damn gift certificate EVER! (Don’t worry Francesca’s, you’re still my #1 Italian place but this place’s atmosphere kicks your ass!)

So where do I begin? Well, I’ll start with our entrance. Bien Trucha is easily overlooked. I can’t recall seeing a sign outside with the name. I think you just have the address to go by. Plus the outside doesn’t let-on to the magic that resides inside. So make sure you have a nifty GPS or some good eye sight to spot the address for this location. Now, let me forewarn you on the wait…cause it’s gonna happen. I can’t deny or affirm if this is the case for lunch, but for dinner, this place is hopping. The very first time my husband and I attempted to go to Bien Trucha, we were told it would be a two hour wait. Well, this fat girl was too hungry to wait that long and we vowed to come back. This past Saturday we arrived at 8:30 and we were told it would be a one hour wait. We happily agreed, this was gonna happen.

So, a small suggestion; Bien Trucha does have a bar you can spend your wait and you’ll see later that I do LOVE their drinks so that’s not a bad idea, but if the weather is nice, take a stroll. Bien Trucha is right in the downtown Geneva area. We walked two blocks down to a bar called Stockholm’s and had some beer while we waited. (I liked this place but it is not your only option, just keep walking to find somewhere else.) I had my cell phone out because Bien Trucha sends a text right to your phone when your table is ready. And if you’re as lucky as us, we got a call saying a table for two opened up 20 minutes after we arrived. So we didn’t even have to wait the hour, sa-weet!

Now, for the inside of this place…it’s small but I think that gives you an intimate feel to place. Your neighbor’s tables aren’t far from you. (In fact, since I’m wide I had to move the table a bit to sit on the far side…but hey, it worked.) Being close to your neighbors also gives you a good view of their food. (Which I fully expect you to oh and ah over, like we did). The in-laws forewarn the lightening is dim in the place, and I agree, it is, but not in a bad way. I suppose being young still has it advantages. I had no problem reading the menu. (But that could be I eyeballed the thing for a few hours before I went. It’s online. Yes, go check it out. Link is below.) But I think the lighting gave the place a romantic feel. One of my favorite parts of the place is the music. I love good Latin music. And this place had it in spades. It was so energetic. I was consistently doing a cha-cha-salsa wiggle in my seat. It completed the atmosphere of the place, and it also gave you some privacy. You may have a good view of your neighbors food but I can’t recall being able to hear their conversation. It was like the music was just loud enough to block them out and force you to focus on your date and food. Overall, I say the place is trendy. Not a place to go slumming and definitely a good place for a date. Do it!

So how was my food? Here is a run down of what my husband and I shared:

Guacamole del Dia

Fresh avocados, lime, cilantro, fresh fruit of the day (which was pineapple) and chef’s inspiration

Bien Trucha (Tacos)

Grilled skirt-steak, home-made chorizo, chihuahua, roasted tomatillo-serrano salsa

Pastor (Tacos)

Ancho-guajillo marinated pork, cilantro, onion, pineapple, morita salsa

Pica-Pica (Brochetas)

Bacon wrapped shrimp, onion, pineapple, chipotle-lime glaze

Esquites (Side)

Grilled corn, epazote-butter, lemon-aioli, queso cotija chile piquin

Arroz Poblano (Side)

White rice, poblano cubes, sour cream, chihuahua cheese

Corn Cake (Dessert)

Fresona (Drink)

fresh muddled strawberries, lime, sugar, orange liquor, sauza blanco

Pepino (Drink)

fresh muddled cucumber, lime, orange liquor, herradura blanco, tajin

Ahuacatl (Drink)

avocado, agave nectar, lime, sauza blanco, orange liquor, mezcal mist

Mojito (Drink)

fresh muddled mint, lime, sugar, rum, splash of soda

Is your mouth watering? Cause mine is from remembering my meal. It wasn’t until after we placed our food order I thought “where the heck are they going to put our food, our table is so small?” Ahhhhh but that only comes with my lack of experience here, they are masters at dinner service. Our food was brought out in what felt like courses. We had our sides out the whole time but we were presented with one main course at a time. We started with our Bien Trucha tacos and once those were done and removed, they brought out our Pastor tacos. I loved this for many reasons. One, and most importantly, your food is always hot. Two, it promotes a good date. Tacos come in sets of 4, so it’s easy sharing and easy conversing. (Cause you are going to want to talk about the food you just greedily ate.) Three, your table is clear of clutter. So that’s how it works if you order tons of food like me and my husband.

But how was the food? Well, I’m sure you can see I’m writing a positive review here and it stays that way. We got everything as is. No modifications despite some of my food aversions. (Like pineapple, or shrimp, I like neither.) But after hearing so many good things about Bien Trucha we wanted to experience the food as it was suppose to be prepared. And it was AWESOME! I mean it.

I’d love to go into detail on each food but that would make this already longer blog, much much longer. So here are my highlights. My biggest surprise of the night, Pica-Pica brochetas. I don’t do shrimp. But the husband wanted to get them and I agreed because I like to challenge my palette. Well, these things were knock your socks off good. If every shrimp I ventured to try were like these, I’d be completely converted to eating them full time. They didn’t have that unappealing shrimp texture I’m used to and pair that with the yummy bacon and the right amount of char from the grill and these things were just off the hook. (Off the hook? Yikes, I need better ways to say things were amazing.)

Another shocking highlight…the sides. How many times have you gone to your favorite Mexican Restaurant and just love their taco/burritos but the sides are always just alright? These sides are not just alright. I can not stress enough that the grilled corn (Esquites) is 100% required of you, if you go to Bien Trucha. Seriously, this is corn is out of this world. My husband nearly had a spoon fight over the last bites. Who knew corn could be so flavorful. And though I’m stressing the corn, we did LOVE our rice too. It may say white rice and it may look pretty plain but it packs a punch. (No, not heat kinda punch, just a flavor punch.) So I highly, highly, HIGHLY recommend ordering both of these when you go. You won’t be disappointed.

And I recommend eating everything as is on the menu. These people know what they are doing when they are pairing up their foods. For example, the pastor tacos we had were topped with a thin strip of pineapple. I’m not a fan of pineapple but I took a bite and thought, man that’s good. It was like they paired the sweetness of the pineapple to counter act the heat of the sauce. I say, give it a try, you just might like it. And if you don’t, pick it off afterwards. Nothing on this menu appeared couldn’t be modified with the use of your own fingers. So be brave and try it first por favor.

My last favorite things and I’ll pair them together just to wrap this up, were the drinks and dessert. My husband drinks were better than mine. I went safe with a mojita and Fresona (strawberry) drink. They were good and strong but when you’re on a food adventure like we were, it paid to go the off beaten path. His cucumber and avocado based drinks were so refreshing. It was cleansing your taste buds before the next course was brought. I highly recommend them on taste and for the fact they were something completely new to me. And a quick word about the corn cake…get it!

The only bad thing about Bien Trucha…the food was so good and we literally finished every bit that we were so stuffed we went into a food coma and had to end our date night out. Ok, so that’s really not a negative. But I was sad to go when the experience was over. I will be going again and I can’t wait to try a whole new assortment of food.

For more information, like address, menu and prices check out Bien Trucha’s website:

http://www.bientrucha.com/