2011 - The Year for Doing

Family Photo 2010

Wow, another year is over. I feel like I’m leaving 2010 a brand new woman. I started the year at 239 pounds and leaving it at 209. Good riddance to those 30 pounds! I also, started the year as a nightly couch potato and now I’m happily occupied with derby. I’d really like to keep the momentum going with the positive changes in my life so here is a new list of goals for me to work on in 2011.

#1 Weight – Of course, there’s weight. Who can really leave off that one on their list? My goal is to lose another 30 pounds in 2011. This should be pretty easy. First off, my previous 30 pounds were really lost in the second half of 2010, so this goal should be more than obtainable. Plus, I’ve blogged previously that when I reach 180 pounds I can get my Desmond tattoo…well losing 30 pounds would get me there and I really want that tattoo!

#2 Food – It’s no secret I HATE to cook. But this goal really benefits me and my family. I am committing to cooking two meals a week. Now two meals a week might not sound like a lot but for me, it is. I average one meal a week if I remember to purchase stuff to make spaghetti. My kid eats way too much processed food. And if I eat correct proportions (and I will, I’m watching that waistline) I should have enough leftovers to carry over for me and Des for a few days. And for those of you that read my blog and love to cook, send me your easy to make recipes. Or if you know of a cookbook that has lots of kid friendly meals, give me the name of it. I’m not afraid to ask for help. I would also be interested in a cooking party that you prepare meals for the week and freeze them. I literally just need someone to show me the way.

#3 Blog – Blogging makes me happy. But sometimes I get lazy and don’t feel like doing it. On those lazy days that I make myself write, I always thank myself for pushing. So my goal is to write once a week or have 52 total at the end of the year. That’s guaranteeing me that I’ll feel a sense of accomplishment each week.

#4 Dance Central –I want to beat Dance Central before the end of the year. Now, I want to say I’ll beat it on hard but I have never in my entire life beat a game that wasn’t on easy. SO, I’ll go as far as saying I’ll beat the entire game on medium before the end of the year.

#5 Running – Last year I took a zero to 5k class. I never reached the point that I could run the entire 5k but I definitely saw an improvement. I want to complete at least one 5K. AND on top of that…I want to get in enough shape to compete in the Muddy Buddy Race. The Muddy Buddy Race is a running/biking race with obstacle courses that end in a mud crawl. I almost signed up this past year with my friend Dayna but I just didn’t feel ready to compete in it. Not only will training for these races help my weight loss but it’ll help me build endurance that will benefit roller derby. It’s a win-win situation.

#6 Finances – We started 2010 with seven credit cards. Yes, seven! We like many Americans have our fair share of debt and have wanted to work out a plan to pay them off. Well, we got as far as one card.

So as we enter 2011 with six credit cards to pay off, my goal is to pay off at least two more cards. That’s one more than this year and that much closer to being out of debt.

So that’s what I’m starting with in 2011. If I think of more, then I guess I’ll just have to blog about it later. I’m always heard that if you write your goals down then you are more likely to accomplish them. Take a moment and write a few things down for yourself. You never know what can happen. I blogged in July that I wanted to check out derby and by August I did and now I’m still doing it. I might have never taken the initiative had I not written it down. Happy New Year’s everyone!!!

Jolly to be Happy

Did you ever just stop what you’re doing and think “I’m happy”? …I did. This past Sunday I was out shopping with the husband and child and as we were leaving the store I became very aware of the smile on my face. I could feel the joy in my heart. I felt loved. I felt good. And I looked to my husband and said “I’m happy.” And then I felt happy that I was happy. It felt like I’d never spoken those words aloud before. How often do we acknowledge the ones we love that we are happy with our lives? That we are happy they are our spouses? (Honey you getting the message here, you’re a catch!) It just felt like a shocking revolution because I don’t physically say out loud enough how happy things make me. And when I do say things make me happy I also tend to throw in buts…I love this restaurant but…I had a great night but…you get my drift. So to keep the positive flow going, here is a whole list of things that make me happy….and no buts about it.

I’m happy with my family life. Heck, I should really say overjoyed with my family life. I have the CUTEST son ever, who is ever amazing me. I have a husband that works hard for the money and keeps love and laughs in our marriage. I’m happy about my job. I love my co-workers and I’m glad that I don’t wake up everyday and have to dread coming to work. I’m happy to have discovered derby. It gives me something to strive for and is changing my body is so many amazing ways. I’m happy with my friends. They rock! I’m happy with my family. Every minute I get to spend with them is treasured. I’m happy I found a good at home day care. I’m happy I can pay my bills. I’m happy to have a car that works. I’m happy to still have cable. I am happy.

You try writing your happy list. It just makes you realize how much you have to be happy about.

Ok, don’t cheat…how many times is the word happy repeated above? If you guessed thirty three you’d be wrong, it’s only twenty one!

And now a quick update on my weight loss. I wrote a blog about 7 weeks ago hoping to lose 18 lbs before my high school reunion. It didn’t happen BUT I’m happy to say I did lose 9.2 lbs in six weeks! So now it’s time to set another goal. I’ve found that since Thanksgiving I’m having a hard time watching what I’m eating, so a weekly check in to keep me accountable needs to stay in place. In approximately 7 weeks is my 29th birthday. My new goal is to be under 200 lbs by January 19th!

43 Days and Counting

Des & I at our local pumpkin farm.

It’s been two weeks since I’ve checked in. I know I said it would be a weekly thing but sometimes life doesn’t give you enough time to write a blog each week. But don’t think that just because I didn’t update, I didn’t weigh in either. Not the case!

The first week was ROUGH! I had what I assume was a sinus infection. I waited so long to go to the doctor that I think it was already on its way to resolving itself but they put me on antibiotics none-the-less and now I’m feeling much, much better. That week I went from having no appetite and hardly eating to eating just for comforts sake. And not only was I sick and not watching what I ate; I was also so miserable that I didn’t get in ANY exercise.

The second week I was just a jerk to myself. I had no reason not to jump on the band wagon but I continued to make poor eating decisions after being sick. But luckily this attitude didn’t last for long and as of this Monday, I am doing great. My eating is under control. I am exercising again and feeling empowered about my decision to take back control. So how did my weigh-ins go?

9/28: 218.4
10/6: 217.0
10/13: 215.2

Not bad for two half-assed weeks! I’m losing an average of 1.65lbs per week which is a little under what I needed to reach my goal before my 10 year reunion but at this pace I’d be down approximately 13.2lbs so I can live with that. Also, there’s plenty of time left. I would imagine with a full week’s effort I could be able to top 1.65lbs week, so there’s just enough hope left of reaching Onederland by my reunion.

Till next week!

57 Days and Counting

There is exactly 60 days till my 10 year High School Reunion but only 57 days that I can make the most of what I got. My lovely alums have decided to pick Thanksgiving weekend as our reunion date. I don’t mind the timing, I just wish there was more notice. All year I knew this reunion was quickly approaching and thankfully I have been able to shed 21 pounds till now. But I’m still nowhere near where I could have been had I stayed dedicated throughout the year. So I’ve decided I need a bit of a game plan to make the most of my 57 days.

First off, what a crappy day to start; I have one of my worst colds ever right now. Even my eyes are juicy and starting to crust over. I can’t taste food and have a lack of appetite. The lack of appetite isn’t bad but your body needs nutrition so it’s like force feeding myself right now, I hate it! Anyways, my first plan of attack is Wednesday weekly weigh ins, starting today and ending the day before Thanksgiving. This will keep me accountable. I’m also making weekly videos for youtube with Veronica. Sometimes though our schedules don’t work out and a week is missed and I can’t afford to not weigh in one week and play naïve. If you’re interested in our videos (trust me they aren’t anything special) go to youtube and search for Fatgirlslittlecoat.

I’m also going to follow weight watchers during this time. I have been very successful with weight watchers in the past and I know it can help now. Lately I’ve been just watching what I’m eating and it has kept me at status quo which is good to know that I can continue that when I reach my ideal weight but since I’m not at ideal I need to be more strict right now.

Next step, exercise goals. I’m actually ahead of the game here because I’m in a routine already. Right now I am skating twice a week. That’s four hours of fun exercise. It truly is awesome. I get the burn and pain from a workout but actually enjoy it. It’s my newest addiction and an absolute joy to do. But that’s not all. I also have a membership to my local park district that includes workout classes. On average I’ve been catching one Zumba class a week. So my new goal is to up the ante and make two weekend classes each week instead of one. That would bring my exercise total to about six hours per week. Not too shabby!

So here is today’s weigh in…drum roll please….

9/29: 218.4 (I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.)

My goal is to reach Onederland by the reunion. So to get to 199.9 in the next 8 weeks I’ll have to lose an average of 2.3lbs per week. Not unspeakable but definitely a challenge.

My biggest problem I find is that I can’t think outside the box with food. So if you’ve got a great food find or perhaps an amazing recipe, please share it with me. What keeps you thin?

Don’t be such a Pessimist

Well I’ve gone and done it. I’ve gone and started the process of becoming a roller derby chick; You are reading the blog of a Skater Tot. How awesome is that? Last Thursday my friend Julie and I drove all the way out to Rockford (about an hour and fifteen minutes from where I live) to meet Killswitch, the recruiter of the Rockford Rage. First thing I’m told as I enter the rink, “You’ve got the perfect roller derby ass.” Sweet! First time I’m thankful for having such a big ass.

This was the first time that Julie and I skated in years; I fell twice. The first one being the more embarrassing of the two because it happened just as Killswitch skated up to tell me how much I improved over the past half hour. Nice way to show my improvement right? Plus I have a jacked-up looking knee with scabs and bruises. My next fall was much later into the evening when Julie skated up to me to talk. I feel backwards this time and landed on the side of my butt and hip. No bruises for this one but it definitely left me sore. I guess the moral of the story for me is…don’t attempt talking while on speed skates. Below is a close-up of my knee.

So, I’m guessing you’re figuring that despite my falls that I had a good time and I’m looking forward to more, so why is this blog entitled “Don’t be such a Pessimist”? I have this annoying habit of looking too far into future and determining whether something will or will not work out without giving it an honest go. Right now, all that is required of me is to show up to practice once a week and work on the long list of required minimum skills in order to practice with the ladies of the Rockford Rage. That alone has me doubting my ability to commit to this. Getting to Rockford by 6:30 means leaving by 5:15 to get there on time and that’s way too early to even think about my husband being home in time, which means I have to pay a babysitter, I have to pay for the gas, I have to pay for admittance into the roller rink and for the skate rentals and that’s only once a week. What happens when it’s twice a week? I’m already feeling bad for leaving my son behind and on top of that I feel like my bills could easily swallow me whole and now I’m committing to something I really want to do but will definitely put a dent in my pocketbook.

All I need is that one small sliver of doubt and suddenly I find several reasons not to peruse an adventure. I look at the required minimum skills and decide that I’ll never get there based on how unsteady I am I skates right now. I don’t look at it as spending a little each week; I think of the sum total and decide it’s too much. My brain thinks not only can I not afford it but I want more kids one day, therefore abort this mission now! It’s like I have to decide today if I want to bout or have a family? That is the extreme measures my mind works. I have the hardest time seeing a way I can do both. I don’t know what practices will be like when I finally make it to the point of practicing with the veterans. I don’t know when I’ll want to start trying for another kid. I don’t need all the money right now but I just start to “rationalize” and give up before seeing anything through. I’ve done it to myself for school and I’m doing it again now for skating.

So, my new mantra is…”One week at a time.” I know right now, this Thursday I have a babysitter, I can afford it and I want to go. So I will. If I get to a point I can’t afford it, I can’t find a babysitter or I want to expand my family then I‘ll stop when the times comes. Very simple mantra but sometimes I need the reminder to think this way. This is something I’m excited about and I know I’ll be upset if I let me talk myself out of it without giving it an honest try.

Goals of a Vanishing Woman

(Desmond and I last month at Navy Pier. He's the muse behind #2.)

This morning I woke up and had a joyous surprise on the scale. I am FINALLY out of the 220’s!!! I’ve been in the low 220’s for the past three weeks and I really thought my running class would have zipped me right out of them but to no avail. Then that magical thing called a period happened and I’m out of the 220’s. Hallelujah! Does that sound funny to you too? For some great unknown reason to humanity I actually drop weight faster when on my period. Unlike many woman who retain water and get bloated, I feel my absolute best during my period and usually the weight lost stays off as long as I continue eating healthy and exercising, which I fully plan on doing.

So, this new found sense of accomplishment makes me want to list some of the things I want to accomplish this year and here they are:

#1 – ROLLER DERBY – Say what!?! Yup, that’s right, wimple dimple me wants to try out for Roller Derby. I saw my first and only bout a couple months ago and thought it looked like an awesome time. Yes, I’m scared of failing, tripping, meeting new people, losing some teeth, getting hurt in general but I think there are more positive than negatives like exercise, making friends and having a good time. Plus, it’s something I can do for me. I miss playing a competitive sport. Now, joining might be an issue, so my actual goal is to contact the recruiter of the Rockford Rage team and find out what would be required. I’ve done a little research and in general practice is required 2 – 3 times per week; Monday thru Friday is a problem for me. But I’m keeping my fingers crossed I’m not the only working mom and that they have some late night practices. So if I can practice and I can afford the monthly dues, then I want to go for it and I expect you all to be there at my first bout…now for the most interesting part…what should my name be???

#2 – TATTOOS – There are two tattoos that I want. So I’m going to set a weight goal for each to keep me motivated and working toward getting those tattoos and a better body. First, I have a butterfly tattoo on my ankle that I hate. I love that it was a sister tattoo but it is fug-ly! I had to learn the unfortunate lesson that a shared stencil for a tattoo does not look the same when done by different tattoo artists. My sisters had one artist, I had another and let it be said I got the shitty artist. Needless to say, I want a cover-up tattoo. I have a necklace of the Tree of Life and when I looked it up, not only did I find the symbolism of the tree beautiful but the figure as well. So, when I reach Onderland (that’s out of the 200’s), I’m going to get my Tree of Life tattoo over my butterfly. My other tattoo is still a work in progress; I know I want Desmond’s name but not sure with what or where, but I want it bad. So I’m making this the harder one to reach. When I reach 180, I’m allowed to get it. 180 may seem like a lot to you still but I haven’t been 180 since high school; In fact I graduated at around 190, so I’m excited to see how I’ll look at 180.

#3 – PICTURES - I want to document being thin or I should say in shape. There’s this awesome photography studio that does Boudoir & Pin-up girl photos that my friend sent me. Not only will my husband appreciate the photos but I will too. I don’t want anything I couldn’t show my close friends and family, which means all my bits will be covered, so when I’m old and wrinkly I’m going to show my kids and grandkids and say “Hey buckaroos, wasn’t Grandma beautiful?” Hahaha, buckaroos! But seriously, just like Samantha did on Sex and the City, I want to show that “Yeah, that was me. I looked great didn’t I?” I want to look back and see pictures that show I feel beautiful and sexy. Granted it doesn’t take boudoir photos to do it, but it’s something I want to do. I can’t set a weight limit for this one, it’ll be when I feel comfortable enough to take photos half nude.

Well, that’s it for now. I’m super excited that I’m only 18.5 pounds away from getting my cover-up tattoo and I think I’ll be sending that email to the recruiter when my running class ends on August 3rd. If I can’t fill up my time doing some roller skating, then I think I’ll continue running. I’m beginning to like it more and more and I’m hurting less and less from it.

What else can this vanishing woman look forward too as a skinny broad?