For Her Eyes Only

Seriously boys, if there are boys reading, you can stop right here. This is for her eyes only. Ok, still with me then? Enjoy, if at all possible.

Hello Lady Friends! It’s that time of the month for me, and I know you know what I mean. This particular period has been a doozy. To fully explain how it’s a doozy, I must explain what is normal for me. A typical period (for the past many years) is a light flow ranging from 3-5 days. I’m cramp free and it’s never really much of a hassle. Well, my last period was almost too light. It was two days long and so light that changing my pad wasn’t really required but I did it anyways. In fact, it was so light I took a pregnancy test because it was almost non-existent. Well, if I ever get such a light period again, I will interpret that as a flash flood warning. I’m not kidding. My current period, (are you picturing me now? typing this blog wearing only feminine products, no? Oops, sorry!) , is over runth. For those of you who have had children, it’s like that bleeding you have right after you give birth. Every minute muscle movement in my lower regions releases a bit more evil. Each time I sit down there’s a squish. It was so bad that my pad couldn’t even soak it up fast enough to prevent it from leaking down between my butt checks and staining my underwear and pants. That NEVER happens to me! It’s like an early high school period, which I don’t miss. Well, for those of you, who might be concerned by the sudden change, don’t fret. Today, it’s much more normal. Perhaps my vagina just was in a rush to throw-up everything at once. Ok, still with me?

And here’s one last observation regarding Aunt Flow…and this is directed to mothers. After giving birth, did any of you notice a difference in the gravitational direction of your leakage? Ok, here’s what I mean. Before birth, I was always worried about leaking in the back. Now, after birth the concern is leaking from the front. (This confuses me because that’s defying gravity.) I kid you not, it’s like it creeps forward now. And what’s really disgusting, because of our anatomy, there are deeper crevices to hide. Need I explain more how that can get disgusting? I know from at least one friend that this isn’t just a Michelle phenomenon. (Last nights dinner conversation with my girlfriends was pretty interesting.) Out of the three of us, only one person said this wasn’t an issue. One of the differences between our child birth experiences were that she was the only one that didn’t rip or get cut and had to get stitches. So I’m thinking, did my stitches somehow affect my flow? It sure seems that way.

Happy New Years Ladies! (And Gents if you are still here.)

2011 Book Review

For those who know me well can say they know I love to read. It’s just something I have been fond of since a little girl. I spent many summer mornings riding my bike to the library, playing my one hour of Oregon Trail and finding a good book to read for the rest of my day in air-conditioning. Though I moved on from Goosebumps and R.L. Stine’s older teen novels, I can’t say that I don’t have a certain love for most things supernatural or filled with a bit of mystery.

This is not a full list. I started tracking my reads via my library website mid-June. I put as many pre-June reads on as possible but I’m sure I missed a few. Here is what I was reading this year:

1. Seriously…I’m Kidding by Ellen DeGeneres
2. Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen
3. The Future of Us by Jay Asher & Carolyn Mackler
4. Bossypants by Tina Fey
5. Delirium by Lauren Oliver
6. Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver
7. The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern
8. Dracula in Love by Karen Essex
9. The Kitchen House by Kathleen Grissom
10. The Last Letter from your Lover by Jojo Moyes
11. Dead Reckoning by Charlaine Harris
12. Lover Unleashed by J.R. Ward
13. Go the Fuck to Sleep by Adam Mansbach
14. One Day by David Nicholls
15. What Happened to Goodbye by Sarah Dressen
16. Warm Bodies by Isaac Marion
17. Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher
18. Divergent by Veronica Roth
19. Pray for Silence by Linda Castillo
20. The Passage by Justin Cronin
21. The Snowman by Jo Nesbo
22. The Girl Who Kicked the Hornest’s Nest by Stieg Larsson
23. The Girl Who Played with Fire by Stieg Larsson
24. The Ice Princess by Camilla Lackberg
25. A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin
26. The Preacher by Camila Lackberg
27. Labor Day by Joyce Maynard
28. Before I Go to Sleep by S.J. Watson
29. The Marriage Plot by Jeffrey Eugenides

The bold titles are my recommendations. (Not bad, 14 out of 29 were excellent reads.) But I would like to point out a few of my favorites from this list of 14. You already know that I like them, so below are the book descriptions from my library. (To save you some time from looking it up yourself, you were gonna do that right?)

#1 One Day – “Over twenty years, snapshots of an unlikely relationship are revealed on the same day--July 15th--of each year. Dex Mayhew and Em Morley face squabbles and fights, hopes and missed opportunities, laughter and tears. And as the true meaning of this one crucial day is revealed, they must come to grips with the nature of love and life itself.” (Mad me laugh and cry a lot. But in a very good way, and the banter between Dex and Em is fantastic.)

#2 A Game of Thrones – “A Song of Ice and Fire, Book One: As a whole, this series comprises a genuine masterpiece of modern fantasy, bringing together the best the genre has to offer. Magic, mystery, intrigue, romance, and adventure fill these pages and transport us to a world unlike any we have ever experienced. Already hailed as a classic, George R. R. Martin's stunning series is destined to stand as one of the great achievements of imaginative fiction. In a time long forgotten, a preternatural event threw the seasons off balance. In a land where summers can last decades and winters a lifetime, trouble is brewing. As the cold returns, sinister forces are massing beyond the protective wall of the kingdom of Winterfell. To the south, the king's powers are failing - his most trusted advisor mysteriously dead and enemies emerging from the throne's shadow. At the center of the conflict, the Starks of Winterfell hold the key: a reluctant Lord Eddard is summoned to serve as the king's new Hand, an appointment that threatens to sunder both family and kingdom.” (I admit I put this put down more than once when I tried to get started. So I picked it up on audio book to push through the rough beginning. And I’m very glad I did.)

#3 Warm Bodies – “A zombie who yearns for a better life ends up falling in love with a human, in this original debut novel. R is a zombie. He has no memories, no identity, and no pulse, but he has dreams. He doesn't enjoy killing people; he enjoys riding escalators and listening to Frank Sinatra. He is a little different from his fellow Dead. Not just another zombie novel, this is funny, scary, and deeply moving.” (I honestly picked this book up because I was just intrigued about a zombie who falls in love thinking “how absurd” but it turns out…I really liked it.)

#4 Before I Go to Sleep – “An amnesiac attempts to reconstruct her past by keeping a journal and discovers the dangerous inconsistencies in the stories of her husband and her secret doctor.” (A gem I found from my Entertainment Weekly…thanks EW…it was one I didn’t want to put down.)

#5 Bossypants – “From her youthful days as a vicious nerd to her tour of duty on Saturday Night Live; from her passionately halfhearted pursuit of physical beauty to her life as a mother eating things off the floor; from her one-sided college romance to her nearly fatal honeymoon, comedian Tina Fey reveals all, and proves that you're no one until someone calls you bossy.” (I recommend the audio book; Tina Fey reads and delivers her story better than you would read it by yourself. Downfall though, she includes pictures in the book with her stories that I missed. Though the audio book comes with a disc with the pictures, it was something convenient for my drive.)

Don’t let this five recommendations fool you…I truly recommend all the ones in bold. And to give you warning I will share with you my least favorite reads.

#1 Seriously…I’m Kidding - I love Ellen. But Seriously…this book sucked. It had zero to offer. The jokes were lame and I just didn’t like her non-sense. Unlike Tina Fey’s book where I felt I knew about her life and especially a few things about behind the scenes of SNL, this book left you with nothing. It’s awful, sorry Ellen.

#2 The Kitchen House – I’m not worried about you picking up this book because it’s not now or ever will be on anybody’s list of recommendations. I found it because someone had reviewed it recently on my library website and the description sounded like something I would like. What I got was a story that I found dreadful and full of angst without any real sense of relief at the end. Made me feel awful, therefore it is awful. Don’t read!

#3 Dead Reckoning – I’m so sorry to say because I really enjoyed them for awhile but I really don’t like the Sookie Stackhouse series anymore. Don’t’ get me wrong, I still love the first six or so. I just don’t like where these books are headed AND the books are weak. I swear, nothing really happened in this book and I wish I could stop myself from reading. (I know, I’ll still pick up the next one but it’s with gritted teeth.)

So there you go…if you ever read any of these books, let me know. It would tickle my pickle.

Movie Review - The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Last night I saw The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. And now I can finally stop the antsy pantsy dance I’ve been doing since I purchased my tickets a few weeks ago. So what do I think of it??? I loved it. But I’m completely biased. I love Lisbeth Salander. She is my hero. And these books have become my favorite adult series. (HP being my favorite Young Adult Series with Hunger Game following just behind HP.) So I think that TGWTDT could do nothing but win with me.

So the best I can do if point out many highs and a few lows…so here goes.

Best Parts of the Movie (Don’t Worry No Spoilers)


#1 Mara Rooney

#2 Mara Rooney

#3 You guessed it…Mara Rooney.


Mara Rooney is fantastic. I suspected she would do a great job from the trailers but following in the footsteps of her predecessor, Noomi Rapace from the Swedish films, gave her large shoes to fill. In my opinion she tackled the challenge head on and I think she gave a truly stunning performance. It’s hard to say which Lisbeth version I like better. If asked, I’ll give the cop out answer and say “I like them equally.” Seriously, each gave this short waifish woman a “soft” side that could appeal to the masses but give a believability when she strikes like a snake in moments of retaliation. And Mara Rooney’s willingness to get pierced for the film, as well as play out completely horrific scenes in the buff in front an entire film crew, makes me say kudos to you. Bravo!

Now, I know you’ll feeling my new Mara Rooney love but I have to give a few more props. First, Sweden. One of the first things my husband said as we left the theater was how stunning the movie was. It’s true and completely the work of Sweden. Not only was the scenery breathtaking but just watching the cold wintery months made me keep my jacket on at all times. Among many reasons to re-watch the movie, I’m looking forward to being able to appreciate the view even more.

Next, Daniel Craig. I’m not really a fan or non-fan of Daniel Craig. He just is. I can’t really say I’ve seen enough of his movies to even have much of an opinion of him. (Excluding his fantastic body from the Bond films, that’s clearly established.) So, I think I was taken aback by his acting. There were times when he really brought vulnerability to his character. Playing the man at a low point in his career, facing jail time (though the movie doesn’t go there), and being a ladies man all at once, just worked for him. I expected him to kick ass like his Bond films, but he had much more naturalistic persona. All in all, a happy surprise.

Lastly, the sound of the movie. Anyone who’s seen the trailer has heard the eerie wails and heart pounding sound mix by Trent Reznor. That song, for me, would instantly turn my head to the TV when I heard it. It would instantly get my heart racing. The music definitely another perfect “character” in the movie. And I’d like to see the movie again, so I could pay more attention to it without being so distracted to what’s happening. It’s good stuff.

Now, my low points…ok, so first is not really-really a low point. For anyone who has read the books, they say it drags the first half. And I would agree. Stieg Larsson really takes his time to set the scene. So does David Fincher. So I felt the movie had a bit of a slower pace the first half. But that’s not really a bad thing. It’s just the way to slowly reveal pieces of the story and give you information that you as the audience will need to know in the second half when the action is going down. So, be patient. (On a side note: my husband didn’t feel the drag, so maybe you won’t either.)

I’m not sure why but sometimes, things were hard to understand. Not concept wise but literally hard to hear. Either between the accents or distractions, I felt I missed a bit here and there. Nothing detrimental but enough to take note of.

And that’s it. I really liked the movie. The only thing that could have made it better is if I wasn’t sitting next to a confused chatty Cathy, who asked questions at each moment. I seriously wanted to strangle the woman, each time she asked “what does that mean?” Haven’t you ever watched a movie before? They are only revealing a piece of the puzzle at a time, relax. At one point in the movie she was sitting on the tip of her seat, angling her body to the screen in what I only imagined her way of getting closer to the film to better understand it. Her date then began rubbing his rough hand along her back, making the most annoying and loud distraction to my right side. To channel my father-n-law, it was like dynamite to my ears! This couple and the fact I had to sit through a trailer for new Ghost Rider movie with the god awful Nicholas Cage were the absolute worst parts of my movie going experience.

So go out, see this thriller and enjoy. I guarantee you, that if you like this movie. You will love the next ones, granted if they are made, because they focus on Lisbeth.

And to you readers of the books…what did you think of the changes they made? I was ok with them myself.

Embracing My Inner Mitchell



 I’ve got two words for you…Modern Family. If you aren’t watching this show, then you should be. I admit, I was late jumping on the band wagon. It’s not that I wasn’t interested, I had just missed the first few episodes and I’m the kind of person that wants to appreciate everything from start to finish. So I figured, oh well. Not oh well. It delayed my ability to spread the cheer that is Modern Family. Once I love something, I like to spread the word. **coughtwilighthungergamescough** So, this is one chance I’m taking and I’m begging you, please watch this show. You might have seen a clip here or there. You might have noticed that the characters talk to the camera sometimes. You might have noticed a hot wife with an old dude and thought, this show looks funky. But trust me, it works. It just does. I know we all live busy lives. But if you rented the DVD’s, one episode would be approximately 22 minutes of your life. And I promise, it’ll at least make you chuckle if not full out belly laughs. Who wouldn’t want to add 22 minutes of daily fun into your life?

Now, why am I mentioning Modern Family now and never before? Well, because I was called a Mitchell. (Sorry folks this is where only MF watchers will understand. But you can get in the know if you would just watch MF already!) Modern Family has a whole cast of characters and I think we can see a little of ourselves in each character. BUT I’m a little more one than the others and I was surprised to learn it was Mitchell. Though I figured I would land on the Pritchett family side, I always figured it was would be Claire. Mitchell is up tight; he is a worry wart, and mild mannered. (Wait, that kind of sounds like me, hmmmm.) He gets embarrassed by his overly flamboyant partner Cameron. (Michael isn’t necessarily flamboyant but he surely does embarrass me…like the first time he called Desmond “Dorito” at the grocery store. Like I would name my kid Dorito!)

But I realized the more Michael and I watched this show, the more he pointed at me when Mitchell was getting his screen time. To make it more official, I mentioned his comments to two of my friends and both were like “totally.” (Did you just imagine Bill & Ted right now…nope? Nevermind.) How is it that others see yourself so much more clearly? Or perhaps, why do I think I hide my anal tendencies better than I do? And to further prove how correct they are, I randomly took a “Which Modern Family Character Are You” quiz online and it came up as Mitchell. So I guess, it’s official. I’m a Mitchell and Michael is definitely my Cameron…though I think he’s got a ¼ of Phil mixed in.

http://www.buddytv.com/personalityquiz/modern-family-personalityquiz.aspx?quiz=100000036

Which character are you?

Cat Business

(Munky & Bo)

So funny and not so funny story…I have been having troubles with one of my cats. My dear Munkey is using a non-litter box approved spot in my house to relieve himself. It is very frustrating. I believe the trouble started when we had my parents stay over with their dogs. The situation had stressed him out and he felt the need to mark his territory. The problem is, and all cat owners know this, that once it starts it’s hard to stop. Not only is my hair brained cat still a crazed cat from the visit, but nothing we do seems good enough to remove all odor. We have shampooed the carpet more times than I can count.

Some might suggest just getting rid of the cat. But I am attached and so is Desmond. Out of my two cats, Munkey is the one that lets Desmond squish him with hugs. He’s just a good cat for Desmond. (Though my sister-n-law may not agree since he hisses at her but he remembers the things you’ve done to him Jenny.) So I’d like the cat to stay. So, first idea…who has cats and has a remedy they’d like to suggest?

If a working remedy can’t be found then secondly, who knows where to find the best pricing on hardwood floors? I’m so serious about ripping up all my carpet and forcing my husband how to learn to install new floors. If I can’t stop the temptation, then I can remove the temptation from the cat. And it has to happen sooner than later. (Tax season never seemed so far away.)

Because this is where the not so funny but funny story comes in…Munkey not only sprayed the other day, he took a deuce. And guess who found el numero dos? Not me. Desmond did. And how did I know that? Because he walked up to me with a turd in each hand! I was livid. Luckily for me, when I shouted at Des to drop what was in his hands, he listened. The crap was stiff enough that it wasn’t smeared on his hands. (But Gross, don’t touch me kid.)

So my hand is forced. I have to fix this problem or kick out the cat. I can only be thankful that my kid is beyond the stage where everything goes into his mouth. Can you imagine that? Sick! So any cat owners out there reading, what say you?

Flashback of Little Des and the cats...awwww!

She Said What!?!

Ok, here’s another round of my ‘They Said What’ series. So, the other day I’m at Jewel with Michael and Desmond. I stand in line to pay while Michael is showing Desmond the flashy lottery machine in the front of the store. My purchases are few and it should be a quick in and out kind of transaction but to no avail I picked the one line that has a price check by the lady right in front of me. I’m patient. I’m not in a rush. I can see Michael handling Des in the front of the store and I quietly wait while the price checking is happening. But then it happens. The lady in front of me has finally noticed me. And I’m not sure at this point what she’s thinking. If I was in her shoes, I would feel bad that I’m holding up the line but figure you gotta do what you gotta do to get the right price. (Believe me, as a couponer I get it.) But that is not what she’s thinking. She opens her mouth and says to me, “Would you like to have a seat?” I’m baffled. I look behind me to see if there is someone who would require a seat while we wait. (Keep in mind; we’ve been waiting less than a minute, nothing major here.) And so I reply, “Me?” with a confused look on my face. And then it comes, word vomit. She says “Yeah, for you know…the baby” as she looks down to my stomach. First things first, my mouth drops open and I tell her I’m not pregnant. Second thing that happens, the poor teenage boy working the register is trying his best not to look at me or her. He’s embarrassed two fold for us. So instead of just turning around and shutting her mouth, the lady feels compelled to make things better. I’m told that I’m glowing. That my complexion is flawless and I’m told that I’m just beautiful. And it all goes in one ear and out the other. You don’t accuse people of being pregnant because they are glowing. And it’s not like I don’t know I’m heavy. I think what I found most offensive is that not only did she think I’m pregnant but she thought I was SO pregnant that I required a chair to sit down for the minute wait. COME ON! I assumed it was common knowledge but I would like to reinitiate this little safety tip: If you are not certain beyond 100% of a doubt that a woman is pregnant and not heavy, then please keep your mouth shut.


Happy Thanksgiving Y’all! I’m gonna add to my Lil’ Bundle of Joy this Thursday!

The Wonder Years

Being a mom is scary. Any bouts of anxiety I have are usually directly related to Desmond’s future. As I watched a clip of idiot fraternity boys on Tosh.0 a couple weeks ago, I couldn’t help but think…that could be Desmond. What if I raise a binge drinker? What if I raise a boy who has lots of meaningless emotionless sex? And he’ll be old and living out of my house. I will have lost control. I’ll be a nagging medaling mother whose son doesn’t want to contact her because he doesn’t want to listen to her motherly advice anymore; it’s a scary thought.

But I stopped fretting. I calmed myself down and had hope that I will raise a son who drinks moderately and cares about the woman he sleeps with. (No, those arent my only two concerns about him growing up but I don’t have time to write about them all.) Before I became a mother, I wouldn’t have blinked twice at this clip on Tosh. Now though, each boy I see in any movie or television program morphs into Desmond. And without a good grip on my ability to stay calm, I’d be going completely batty.

So, on a whim I have started watching The Wonder Years on Netflix; and it overflows my hope reservoir. (Not only that but it’s refreshing to watch something that feels wholesome.) I remember as a kid I liked the show but I know for certain my six year old self didn’t catch half of the insinuations that are in that show. Regardless of what I missed then, I see so much more now. I don’t panic when I imagine Desmond like Kevin Arnold. The idea of Desmond growing up too fast is not only scary but it’s reality. Watching little Kevin grow up and learn about the facts of life reminds me that Desmond doesn’t not have to be a wicked bully crazed child in the process. Today’s TV depicts such mean children, that I’m constantly brewing up ways to make sure my kid isn’t one. I forget that children are a large reflection of their parents. So I have hope that leading by example, Desmond will come out alright.

So, I’m going to continue watching The Wonder Years. Not only is it just a good show but it reminds me of my childhood and gives me moments to look forward to in Desmond’s future. (Seriously try watching it again…it’s really is still a good program after all these years.)

Mothers/Fathers out there – Am I alone in this? Or do you imagine these things too?

He Said What?

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The Audio Book and Me

I want to start out first by saying sorry. Sorry my first blog back from my short break is about audio books, I’ve been having bad writers block; nothing is inspiring me to write. The things I do start to write turn into mush and I just plain gave up for three weeks. So, the only thing I had on my short list of blog topic ideas that I felt I could expand on was about audio books. One might call them books on tape. Well, cd’s really, because who really listens to tapes anymore? (Yes, this is really where I have decided to bite the bullet and start again.)

I am an audio book whore.

Weirdly enough, I didn’t realize this until the beginning of this year. I love to read. Opening up a new book and losing myself into the material is one of my favorite past times. So, I always stuck to reading an actual book. Well, this past December I jumped into the world of Lisbeth Salander. (The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.) I read the first book and was blown away. BUT, the author is very wordy. Though I was invested into the story 100%, there would be rants of details that felt so long winded. These moments were when I would get sleepy (cause my main reading time is just before bed). My progress was very slow. So it was then I decided I wanted to try the second novel via audio book, and I have not looked back.

The first benefit I noticed was actually “reading” more books. Not only do I love being read too but it has become the majority way I indulge in reading. As a mom and overall busy woman, I can not guarantee that I have the time or the energy to read before bed. But I can guarantee that if I have job I have to drive to, I have five hours each week to commit to a book. I have become addicted to my drive to work and my drive back home. Those 35 minutes are filled with auditory wonderment. (And in the case of Lisbeth Salander filled with a deserving ass-kicking)

Which brings me to the next benefit, from my experience I can say, that listening to books in your car helps eliminate road rage. I actually hope for more red lights. I don’t mind getting stuck behind that grandma driver and I sure as heck was thankful that I had an audio book to keep me company during a super heavy snowfall on my way home from work.

My favorite benefit…a good narrator makes the story even better. For those female blog readers right now, seriously check out One Day by David Nicholls on audio book. I’m sure I would have enjoyed it via a hardcopy but the narrator added so much humor to the comedic moments the author wrote. I don’t think I would have bonded as much to this book had I not listened to it. I swear, try it! I know the movie bombed at the theater but don’t let that and the fact that it looks like an extremely sad movie stop you. It’s a really funny and endearing book. And yeah, it’ll make you cry but that’s ok. (End One Day Rant Here)

I suppose to be fair; I should mention any downfalls of the audio book. One, they can be expensive, so get yourself a library card if you don’t already have one and rent them for free. Two, not all narrators are created equal. I have come across a book or two where the narrators lackluster or their accents made me listen harder to understand what they said. In both cases, as long as it’s a good book, you don’t even notice the downfall. Lastly, though I’ve never been really into music, I am completely out of the loop now. Where I once spent time listening to the radio is now completely devoted to the spoken word. So I do find myself saying, “I really like this new song” and then I get that “where have you been” look cause it’s been out forever. To that, I say whatever cause I’m defiantly enjoying my time spent in another author’s world.

Ok…this was lengthier than I thought, and I feel better for having gotten one thing off my blog list of ideas checked off.

The Facebook Debacle

So a couple of weeks ago, my dear husband and I got into an argument. Not surprising because everyone argues; it happens. But it was such a simple argument that should have been so little and yet I must have been so riled up that it just struck a major nerve and I was really upset. Despite my over reaction I still think I was in the right. So which side do you take?

Here’s what happened:

It’s 11:00am on a Saturday morning. We are out as a family birthday shopping. We leave the store with our purchases and get into the car. Michael is the driver; Desmond and I are the passengers. We are all buckled in and ready to go. Or are we? Michael is on his phone checking facebook. I sit and look at him from the passenger seat, thinking, anytime now you can pull out? I keep looking, so I get impatient (probably only 20 seconds of looking at him) and say “we gonna go or what?” And he’s like, “give me a minute, I’m on facebook.”This is not the first occasion a damn smart phone and its constant facebook availability has been a nuisance to me. Everywhere we go, he needs a second to check facebook. Usually I’m ok with it. But this time, I’m literally waiting for my day to continue because he has to check facebook. What on Earth at 11:00am is so necessary to see on facebook? Nothing! We have plans for the whole day, so looking for things to do isn’t an excuse. If you really wanted to be on facebook, why not let me drive? So I blew a gasket. I don’t want to talk to him. I want to move and move now, and I want him to admit, he’s being rude. He’s being inconsiderate and he completely refuses to see it as such. He basically states I’m being irrational. Now I realize that my extreme reaction (because I did go into silent mood, it didn’t start out silent), is a little over the top but I still feel upset. He isn’t thinking about me or Desmond and how we don’t want to sit in a parked car as peruses his friend’s statuses. He won’t recognize the fact that I feel upset, that I am feeling something he caused. So I’m even more pissed that he’s blowing me off; Just a giant snowball effect mess.

So am I crazy or do I have a little wiggle room for getting upset?

The Full-Time Non-Mom

I had a moment of pure joy the other day when I dropped off Desmond at his daycare. He cried! Yup, my son’s tears made me happy that morning. Does that make me a bad mom? Absolutely not! Hear me out here first. Five times a week my son is at daycare. He loves it! So much so, that he is excited to see his care providers and will happily leave my arms for theirs. So, it was my greatest pleasure that morning when Desmond did not want to go over without a little fuss. He wanted his mommy. And let me tell you, it filled my heart with joy. If I was the type of person that felt comfortable calling in sick when I’m not, I would have. If Desmond wants mommy, then I wanted to give him mommy. But I’m too horrible of a liar and I can’t start a trend of staying with Desmond whenever he gets upset. So I pushed through and went to work. (But I like to think it took him hours to get over it, when actually it was probably more like out of sight, out of mind)

This got me thinking about how much time I get with Desmond. I’m a full-time non-mom. Five times a week another family gets the opportunity to spend the most active and fun time frame of Desmond’s day. I get to pick him up, feed him, bath him, read to him and put him to bed. I do realize that this pretty normal for most families now-a-days. We just are a society that needs a double income to survive, but just because it’s my reality doesn’t mean I have to like it.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my daycare. I think they rock and I am so happy to have found them. (Thanks again cousin for recommending them.) But here’s a little story on the opposite side of the spectrum. Each day I pick up Des I have a habit of throwing up fist up in triumph and loudly saying the word home when we pull into our driveway. Des quickly picked up on this and now we both do this on our daily return home. And guess what that little bugger did a few weeks later. He did our routine when we pulled up to the sitters! “Home” he says…such simple words but a definite heart crusher for me. It’s not bad, I’m glad he thinks of his day care providers as home. They’re a wonderful family. The help raise lots of great kids. Desmond is there all day, and I can see it in his face and physical expressions that he loves them and they love him. It’s just that nobody prepared me to know that my son would love others outside of my family. Seems likes something I would figure out but it’s not. It’s not until someone who isn’t blood tells your son that they love him in front of you that it hits. That you have loveable kid. Other people will love your son. Your son will love someone other than you. Crazy business! So, what does a silly mom like myself do in this situation? I started a new routine for the sitter’s house. There’s nothing like a little jazz fingers and saying “sitters” in a fun voice each morning at 7:00am. He has not picked up on this habit, lol.

Ok, I realize my term Full-Time Non-Mom is a little harsh. I am a mom. I mom with fierceness. So the non-mom doesn’t really apply. So I shall change to my title to Greatest Full-Time Working Mom Ever in the History of Greatest Full-Time Working Moms in the Universe, no make that Galaxy and Beyond!

Love Rekindled

I’m currently in the mist of a passionate love affair with my local library. I’m not kidding. My reading habits have had the ebb and flow of young love. Stronger here and weaker there but currently it’s at an all time high; I just can’t get enough of reading. My least favorite part about this rekindled love is not having someone to share it with. (You crazy non-readers!)

To express how serious this has become, I can tell you that I visit my library’s website on a daily basis, usually more than once per day. I’m consistently on there looking for new books via the recent activity or bestseller sections. I love their website where I can create three different lists of books; For Later, In Progress and Completed. Moving my books from “for later” to “currently in progress” to “completed” tickles my pickle more than I think is normal.

When I get my Entertainment Weekly, it takes all my patience not to flip to the back of the magazine to get to the books section first. I have found so many good suggestions from that magazine. But I with hold and honestly say I save the best part of that magazine for last. (It’s a struggle, really...like my hand is possessed and my mind is just barely controlling the hand’s effort to turn the page.)

My biggest thrill right now, school is back! Ok, why is that exciting? Because it means the library is open on Sundays again after Labor Day! Woot woot! Yup, that’s how excited I am. I actually know the hours of the library by heart. And what’s sadder, sometimes I double check before I go because I want to make sure I’m not mistaken and get there and feel disappointed. That’s winning!

I’ve even looked into their fiction book club and hope to start the next book for next month. I’ve always talked about doing a book club but never do. Well, now is the time to do it. If I can’t find the motivation to read a book I’ve never heard of before now, then it’s not likely to happen. So that’s my new goal; go to the September book club meeting. If I find that I don’t like the books they pick, well, maybe I will just have to start my own.

So, let me end it on a suggestion…the last book I completed and adored was The Last Letter from your Lover by Jojo Moyes. It has a very Madmen feel to it and it’s just a really good love story. Further synopsis is below.

Happy Reading!

The Last Letter from your Lover - It is 1960. When Jennifer Stirling wakes up in the hospital, she can remember nothing-not the tragic car accident that put her there, not her husband, not even who she is. She feels like a stranger in her own life until she stumbles upon an impassioned letter, signed simply “B”, asking her to leave her husband.

Years later, in 2003, a journalist named Ellie discovers the same enigmatic letter in a forgotten file in her newspaper’s archives. She becomes obsessed by the story and hopeful that it can resurrect her faltering career. Perhaps if these lovers had a happy ending she will find one to her own complicated love life, too. Ellie’s search will rewrite history and help her see the truth about her own modern romance.

Shell's Shameful Secrets Part Deux

Welcome back to Shell’s Shameful Secrets! This one is gonna be scandalous…ok, that might be an exaggeration but it’s making me blush and I haven’t even begun writing my shameful secrets yet. I hope you get a laugh out of these.

#1) The Prairie Dog – According to the Urban Dictionary the definition is:
When you have to shit so bad that your terd goes in and out of your ass. Like a prairie dog would in his hole. Side effect: "skid marks" which is the evidence of the PD stain left on the person’s underwear.

Don’t deny it, everyone poops therefore everyone has most likely have done the prairie dog. That’s really not the shameful part. The shameful part for me is the skid mark. I had a lot of underwear with skid marks. I think the fact I am one of those people who can’t poop comfortably in public, led me to have a higher chance of developing a skid mark in my underroos due to having the prairie dog nag me until I get home. Well, when I discovered how unsightly my underwear selection had become and decided I would die of embarrassment if someone ever had to pack an emergency bag for me. I threw them all out and got some new underwear. So the shameful part is over, but I’m sure it’ll just develop again. I really need to learn how to relax those anal muscles in public. Yup, I just went there. How many of you clenched and released? LOL.

#2) Flat Nipples – I have flat nipples. A lovely gene handed down to me from my mother. Having flat nipples is not shameful. It’s just what’s natural for me. What I’m ashamed about is that I didn’t realize that my nipples were the unusual ones amongst woman. I remember for the longest time and I mean a long time, into my twenties where I would watch a movie with a love scene with women’s breast showing and they would have these long pointy bottle like nipples. I would almost get embarrassed for her. Like doesn’t she know she has weird looking nipples? Why would she want her breasts to show in this movie? And what’s worse is that I have taken a ton of health classes and somehow I never picked up on the fact that I was the usual one. It’s outlandish to me that I never realized the truth until I was much too old. But I’m also kind of thankful because I was already nervous the first time I decided to be topless in front of Michael because well, it was a first time and its nerve wrecking. Had I known then that what he’d be seeing wasn’t the normal my shirt would have definitely stayed put for longer. So I bet he’s glad of my ignorance.

That’s it. Did you smile? Got anything shameful to share? I’m sure I’ve got more but that’s what I had cooking on my brain. Till next time…

Thirteen Reasons Why

I have a book recommendation. Not only do I recommend this for parents but for all kids entering middle/high school. It's called Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher.

Here is the book synopsis:

Clay Jensen returns home from school to find a mysterious box with his name on it lying on his porch. Inside he discovers several cassette tapes recorded by Hannah Baker--his classmate and crush--who committed suicide two weeks earlier. On tape, Hannah explains that there are thirteen reasons why she decided to end her life. Clay is one of them. If he listens, he'll find out how he made the list. Through Hannah and Clay's dual narratives, debut author Jay Asher weaves an intricate and heartrending story of confusion and desperation that will deeply affect teen readers.

This book was really touching, eye opening and just simply real. I remember the days I didn’t want to face my peers because something was deemed embarrassing or perhaps there were whispers going behind my back. It’s a tough time in a young person’s life, which is why I like this book for two main reasons.

My first reason: it subtly teaches you to look for when someone is struggling with depression/suicide. No, this book does not cover them all and because all people are different, these warning signs might not apply to every victim. But for those that do, it can be a real opener as a parent or even a friend. For instance, a change of appearance, personality change and giving up possessions is something I will never forget from this book. Perhaps I will notice these traits from Desmond or his friends and I can do something before it’s too late.

My second reason is that it shows kids they are not alone. I think kids will be able to relate to both Hannah and Clay in these books. They may even recognize themselves in the other 12 main characters. I know that suicide has been high among gay teens and I love the campaign out there “It Gets Better.” But sometimes kids need something now. It’s great to focus that things will get better, but what if those kids have gone to a point that they don’t want to wait for later. I can just see someone relating to Hannah’s pain and feeling not alone anymore.

Now, I’m a liar. I’ve got a third reason. Perhaps you have no worries for your kid. Perhaps they are happy and popular, but what if you found out they were the reason someone was pushed to the edge. I think another good reason for kids to read this book is to see the significance of ones action. I won’t give anything away but one of the reasons was a rumor. Granted starting a rumor seems pretty harmless but what if that rumor had a snow ball effect like it did in this book. (Sorry won’t mention more, pick up the book!) Then perhaps having your child read this book might give them a chance to second think that rumor they want to spread.

And despite knowing the outcome for Hannah, I still found myself hoping it wouldn’t happen. Bravo to the author for making me care so much about this young girl that I still hoped for a different ending. And bravo again to the author for being able to end the story feeling hopeful. So pick it up, read it and share it with your teenagers. It could mean the difference between life and death.

Getting Back to my Roots

Well folks, I’m getting back to my roots…literally. I have chopped of all my hair into almost a pixie cut and what remains is my au natural ash colored hair. Why would I do this? Well, first I look good with short hair. And secondly, I just got fed up with dying my hair.

I suppose my desire to consolidate my spending this year did contribute. Now that I coupon, that impulsion to save money is driven into me even harder. The need to save money is so strong currently that even the access to a very good and very cheap stylist could not sway my mind. (Side note: Thank you Jenny!)

I have been coloring my hair since 7th grade and I had never looked back. I’ve been blonde, black, all shade of reds and browns and each time I think I’ve found the perfect look. But I’ve always been too whimsical to stay with any one look for long, and now that I’m aging and it has come to my attention that gray hairs aren’t so far in the future, I’ve decided to change.

Michael, my silvering fox, is currently plucking out random gray hair. My other half is starting to get gray hairs!!! That makes me feel so old. And I can’t even properly make fun of him because I can’t really say I don’t have grays because my hair has too much unnatural coloring to tell.

So this weekend, I decided to chop the hair off. It was overly needed. My roots were almost two inches long and the dark red had faded to an orange. I just couldn’t walk around feeling so dishelved, the hair had to go.

And I love it! Takes me two seconds in the morning to do. I’ve got a new fascination with headbands and I’m dying to get some earrings that will actually show. I highly recommend giving short hair a go sometime, it feels so good. I’m overjoyed to report that I have yet to spot any gray. So for now, I will rock my natural ash color and leave the coloring for later.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

That House

(Not my house.)

Yup, I will confess. My house is that house in your neighborhood. I am the proud owner of the shabbiest house on the block. It’s not that the house that is in shambles but the yard. The yard is a disaster zone. When we first moved in, I was so excited about the idea of having a yard. I could have a garden, plant some trees, some bushes and just personalize the crap out of our yard. What I have now, two years after moving in, is my cute little garden, which is hardly recognizable with the weeds overwhelming what has dared to bloom. The grass is hardly cut and dry. And I’m thankful for the dry weather lately because it means the grass has grown slower which really translates to only having gotten one notice from the village to cut our grass instead of the two or three we had at this point last summer. My husband and I just don’t have time to give it the attention it needs and when we do find free time, we just don’t want it to be spent in our yard. I miss having our townhouse for this reason alone sometimes. So for the 5% of the time I feel guilty, I say sorry neighbors.

With that being said I figure you got a clear picture of what my house looks like. (And for another reference see picture above, it’s really not far off the mark.) What baffles me sometimes is my neighbor’s behavior. They have a nice yard. They cut the grass regularly. They refresh the mulch around their trees and they even take the time to water it to keep it looking green. Good job neighbors! But the baffling part is that they leave one lawn-mower length of grass uncut for us. Since the moment we moved in, we noticed they do not cut a strip of grass that is attached to their yard. It is on the outside side of our driveway and it looks like where their yard begins. The driveway seems like a clear border between their yard and mine. So I can only assume that it must fall on our property and they leave it uncut. Fair enough. BUT, they see how we are. We hardly cut our grass. So instead of them having a really nice yard, they have a really nice yard with one ugly strip on the side. I wish I had taken a picture before the last time we cut our yard because it’s comical to see. And it’s really a 10 second clip of grass that needs to be cut. It’s not a big deal. But always, they skip it. Though I realize it’s 100% my responsibility to cut that grass (I assume, where are the property lines when I need them?) I can’t help at be annoyed at my neighbors stubborn behavior. We have no problem mowing it if it really is our small slice of yard but being we aren’t the best landscapers, I would just think they would want to spend an extra 10 seconds to make their lawn look finished.

I realize we’re jerks because of this but you can’t be a saint all the time right?

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Ode to Harry Potter

(Veronica and I at Hogwarts)

I’ve wanted to write a dedication to Harry Potter for some time, but I’ve always refrained because I fear it will be inadequate. Screw inadequacy! I love Harry Potter. Even if I only convey a third of what I love about the series, that’s still a third of love that I put out there and may or may not encourage another reader. (HP fans: You all know that the weapon we have is love!) Though I’ve been successful in the past in getting others to read (cough Twilight cough), I don’t think I’ve done the same for Harry Potter. And that’s a shame because it is definitely my favorite book series. Heck, I’ve even got a quote tattooed on my shoulder and I’ve seriously considered getting more.

So let me start at the beginning…how I got started with Harry Potter. I understand people’s hesitancy to pick up the series. I myself was one of those hesitant people. To this day, I have a harder time picking up a novel that involves witches, wizards, magic or anything of that nature. Plus throw in the aspect that Harry Potter is only 11 in the first book and you’ve got a whole book about a pre-pubescent wizard. Not so exciting. Ohhhhh…but that’s where you and I were wrong. And I can only more forward with my tale by saying one thing first. Thank you. Thank you Veronica for constantly pushing Harry Potter in my face and not giving up until I had finally agreed to give it a try. It has forever changed my life.

Wow, really? Changed my life? And I think I could say honestly yes. First, like I mentioned before, I’ve altered my body to have Harry Potter permanently apart of it. It has cemented a lock tight bond between me and one of my closest friends. It has provided many late night movie excursions. It has given me a new reason to travel to Florida. It has given me something to look forward to sharing with my son. It has brought nothing but joy and I just thank the heavens for giving J.K. Rowling the idea to this story.

So what’s so fabulous? Everything. I mean everything. I took a rode trip this summer with my sister-n-law and we asked ourselves boundless amounts of would you rather questions. We contemplated sex, marry kill scenarios…but the one and only question I can clearly recall is when she asked me about Harry Potter. She started off by saying “What would you change about the Sookie books?” And I had a ton of suggestions. (Am I the only one to hate the most recent book?) Then she moved on…”what would you change about the Black Dagger Brotherhood books?” Again, there were a few things. And then she asked the inevitable, “What would you change about Harry Potter?” And my honest answer was nothing. It is pure perfection. And part of what I like is that it’s not all happy joy lucky. Harry is an orphan and has had a sad lonely life until he goes to Hogwarts. And he doesn’t just lose his parents but there are significant deaths throughout the series that are awful. Of course those deaths upset me. (I wore a black hair band around my wrist for a week in honor of Dumbledore because I read Gary Oldman did the same. Figure he could show tribute I could too. I’m crazy weird, I know.) But if you changed anything about these sad scenarios the books wouldn’t be the same. Harry would be a different person. The outcome could have been different and I love exactly where the book goes.

So what makes it a good book? Here is where things get tough for me. I fear the inadequacy here the most because when I read a book, I feel a book. The way a book leaves me feeling is a huge factor in whether I enjoy it or not. I’ve always been one of those people who puts themselves in other people’s shoes. So as Harry Potter moves through each year of Hogwarts, so do I. I felt the loss of his parents everytime he thought about them. I felt the loss of his godfather. I felt nervous when he asked Cho Chang to the dance. And I definitely felt the horror and shock when Dumbledore was killed. I felt. I felt. I felt. (Not to be confused with Tom Felton.) And I won’t ruin the last movie but I cried, no wait that’s not accurate enough, I was a giant mess of tears (Cry me a River is most accurate) when it is revealed what “I open at the close” means for Harry Potter. That will forever be my favorite part of the last book. And it is the scene I’m most excited to see tonight at midnight. If there is one thing to get right, it’s this scene. (And perhaps one scene with the most excellent Severus Snape….that one should be a gem too.) I suppose it left me with a over whelming feeling of joy, accomplishment and love. Reading these books is satisfying to your soul. Go ahead, feed your soul. Feels real good.

And though it feels like it’s really ending now, it’s not. It’s been over. (Last book came out in 2007) Though I have enjoyed going to see the movies, it has always been about the books for me. So I need to stop tearing up when I see the trailer because I’m not seeing anything surprising. (Yes, that happened last week when I went to see Super 8….which was fantastic by the way). Because though the last book has been written and the last movie will be over, it will forever be a favorite and I am happily awaiting the day that I can experience these books with Desmond. My torch for Harry Potter is still lit and will continue to be.

Gah, I just re-read what I wrote. I sound spastic and unconvincing. So I will end it with this. If you enjoy reading. And you must be a reader, not someone who dabbles once in a while in reading if a fantastic vampire romance novel is out. (Cough Dayna cough) Then I will say, you will enjoy these books. Overlook the book jacket if you normally find books about magic and wizards unappealing because you are going to find that there is so much more within these books. And if you still can’t bring yourself to read them, that’s ok too. But you might want to get checked out by a psychologist because you’re crazy. Guaranteed. But I still like you anyways.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Roar of the Tiger

It’s been a rough two weeks. My husband has had some deadlines at work that has required him to work late…very late! I’m talking catching the last train at 12:30am and making it home and in bed around 2am. I’ve had to miss two weeks of practice. I miss it but I’ve also dug the break and spending more time with my son, plus it’s got me thinking…of how much I do.

Now, I’m not looking for praise. (Really Michael, you can relax.) This is about how much I feel I can take on. I stress. I worry. Yet it doesn’t stop me from getting the job done. For example, the other night in a 3 hour time frame, I grocery shopped, dropped off a calendar to my sister (who lives in the Cary area), started a new load of laundry, folded a dry load of laundry, did the dishes, took out the garbage/recycling, had dinner with Desmond and put him to bed. I don’t know about you but I think that’s a shit load of multi-tasking. Plus I could throw in playtime with Desmond because lord knows my kid can’t leave you alone for one chore, so throughout my night I’m entertaining a two year old. When I reflect back on my night, I feel accomplished. I swear I can hear my inner and outer mother ROARRRR!!!! (Also, insert grunt noise from Home Improvement here.) Its nights like this that I feel really good and I just wanted to focus on that feeling. I’ve written before that focusing on the positive is never done enough now-a-days. So here I am, focusing on my positives. (Your yesterday can’t be all bad, what was your favorite part?)

It baffles me that I used to be addicted to television. How did I ever manage before? I swear when I turned our cable off and handed our dvr over, we had 30 plus programs that we recorded and watched. And when I say we, I mean I because I confess, 90% or more of those programs were mine. And though I still enjoy watching TV when I do, it’s not a focus anymore. No wonder I was down the beginning of last year, where was my ROARING? Nothing roar-able about sitting and watching a dozen or so programs a night. Thank god for derby and having a job loss scare that made me turn the cable off, my life feels more free and satisfying because of it.

But I’m not one to sit around. I really do feel like I have a full plate but it doesn’t stop me from having more ambitions. I have a long reading list that I’m actually putting a dent in. I’m participating in the National Novel Writing Month in November. I plan on doing a 5K in September and most recently I’m thinking about organizing a mob flash. That’s right, a flash mob. (If this comes to fruitation I will definitely let you all know.) Yup, I’m not helping my stress but damn it feels good to ROAR!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Getting the Backhand

According to Wikipedia:

A backhanded compliment, also known as a left handed compliment, or asteism is an insult that is disguised as a compliment. Sometimes, a backhanded compliment may be inadvertent. However, the term usually connotes an intent to belittle or condescend.

A backhanded compliment may fool the listener, but the compliment remains "backhanded" because the speaker is being intentionally slighting and insulting. In some cultures, backhanded compliments are considered a genteel or polite way of expressing disdain.

Examples of backhanded compliments include:

"That dress is lovely; it does wonders for your figure."
"You're smarter than you look."
"You drive very well, for a woman."
"Your son is more handsome than I would have expected."

In each instance, there is an initial compliment: praising a piece of clothing, a person's intellect, a person's driving ability, or a person's looks. However, each instance also includes an implied criticism: the person's figure desperately needs improvement; the person appears unintelligent on the surface; women don't drive well, and therefore any skill at driving is noteworthy; the son's parents are unattractive.

I’m no stranger to the backhanded compliment. All of my examples are weight based. I’m sure if I thought long and hard enough I would find more that aren’t, but I suppose it’s the backhanded compliments that hit a sore spot that actually stick out and are easily remembered. Plus it’s the most recent one I received so it’s fresher in my mind. So let’s dive right into my pain. (I’m joking; I have thick skin after all.)

At one our after parties for the Rockford Rage, I was approached by a gentlemen who wanted to give me a “compliment.” I wish I could remember his exact words because my jaw dropped when he said it. The gist of what he wanted to say was I have a lot of energy and he liked it. What came out was that he was so surprised that someone my size would be dancing so much after having just bouted for an hour. He tied in my weight to the compliment. Like someone my size should be lethargic, tired, half-assing it on the dance floor; like I’m some type of miracle worker that I can still walk after having skated for an hour. Seriously?

While I’m on the topic, I remember a time when a man approached me and said “I like my ladies kind of chunky.” Chunky! Really, you want to open up with chunky!?! And another I have received “You’re pretty for a big girl.” Let me give you guys a tip. Whether you’re a chubby chaser or not, I can guarantee a woman does not want to know that you find her attractive despite her size. In fact, you want to hear the best compliment I did get? It was simple and made my night. (Granted it was from an older drunk man who I found kinda repulsive, it was still nice.) He said “You are stunning.” Nothing quite trumps a stunning gentleman. Never be in doubt boys, leave weight out of it.

A friend of mine *cough Ernie cough* is a backhand complimenter by nature. I swear almost everything she says can be twisted into a backhanded compliment. It’s to a point now that I don’t read into the implied because she’s usually not implying. My favorite instance was a photo I found of another roller derby team that was just starting up. One of the girls kinda resembled me and wore a similar outfit that I did. When I asked her if she thought I looked like that, she said “You don’t look that bad.” LOL, meaning I look bad just not as bad as this chick.

I’m not immune to using a backhanded compliment, I don’t think I’ve ever used one intentionally though. It’s usually those slips of the tongue ones, that as soon as I hear it, I’m already correcting myself by saying “What I meant was.” I hate those moments because even if you don’t mean it in that way you can’t help but feel like they think you think that way. Did that make sense? Anywho, the moral of this story…well, there isn’t one. The end.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Shell The Cunning Couponator

If you haven’t heard anything recently about couponing then I’m assuming you live in a cave. I hear non-stop talk about couponing among strangers, co-workers and friends ever since the show Extreme Couponing premiered on TLC. I don’t have cable so I haven’t actually seen the show, but I can imagine exactly what it’s like from the constant chatter I overhear of it. I soon realized how nutty it was getting when on the morning elevator at work, three men were discussing the show. I kid you not, one said “did you see the one where she got like $900 worth of groceries for like $50 bucks!” I suppose it’s foolish of me to think that only woman use coupons but it really was surprising to see three young men discuss the awesomeness of coupons. Overhearing this much about it was like a constant voice saying “hello, get with the program and check this out.”

Luckily for me I have a friend who has recently gotten into couponing and her enthusiasm for the “sport” is what tipped the scales. I could no longer say I didn’t want to teach myself how do it because I had a willing and very able teacher for free. On top of that, could I really say “No, I don’t want to get awesome stuff for free. I’d rather pay, thank you!” Nope, couldn’t do that either. So began my journey into couponing.

My adventure begins with watching an instructional dvd that my friend had purchased online. (Check out supercouponing.com) It’s cheesy but majorly informative. It shows you how you are currently couponing wrong, how to do it right and how to organize yourself to make couponing as fast, easy and simple as possible. It really is a good dvd and I highly recommend you order one. (Or make a date night with me…you can pay me in wine for my time.)

Now, let me ask you this? Do you buy toothpaste? Toothbrushes? Soap? Shampoo/Conditioner? Body Wash? Mouth Wash? Contact Solution? Razors? Deodorant? It’s a very safe bet that you answered yes to almost all of these. What if I told you that you would never have to purchase these things again? Hard to believe? Well, it’s true. If you learn how to super coupon, almost every personal care item you get can be free. Even make-up can be heavily discounted if not free too. You just have to know how to stack your coupons and wait for the right sale. So ask yourself, would you like these items for free? Now that I’ve gotten a few this way, I can honestly say it would be really hard ever going back to paying full price or even the sale price again.

Now, I don’t want to get into specifics. If I were to explain how it all works, it would take many blog entries and to be honest I’m still learning . What I will say is…give it try. Even if you don’t have time to watch that dvd at my house, or you don’t’ have the money to buy it for yourself, there are websites that teach you for free and at whatever time is convenient for you. (Couponmom.com has a series of videos, haven’t watched these to verify if they are good or not.) For those of you who are willing to give it a try and have questions or need help, message me. I’m even apart of a yahoo group that posts good deals and we all help each other out with questions or sometimes we just trade coupons. You can get into that too. The resources are out there to make this super fun and easy to do.

Below is a picture of the very first day I went out. Everything was FREE! I only had to pay tax which only amounts to a couple of cents. Not bad of a scoop when I only had one newspaper to work with. Now-a-days, my gets are much more impressive


(Side note: I'm sending the items I have a stockpile of to my adopted soldier. Just think you could donate your free items to charity or help out your own family.)

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

A Year of Self Discovery

(My angry duck face inspired by my Snooki hair, no I'm not a Jersey Shore fan.)

In February I wrote a blog titled “Should I Stay or Should I Zombie.” It was about this idea for a zombie story that randomly popped into my head. I couldn’t stop thinking about it for days. It got to a point where I started a scribble page with notes and ideas as they came to me. Not all of those ideas were keepers but I wanted to capture it all. It was the first time I was inspired to write something that wasn’t a blog. It wasn’t my opinion on any subject. It wasn’t a retelling of a funny story. It was an original idea. Something I could create and it seriously made me consider trying to attempt writing a story. Though I always enjoyed the books we read in English classes, the assignments were the part I didn’t enjoy. I never felt like a writer because everything I was asked to write felt forced. So using my past bad experiences with writing overwhelm me, I let the creative feeling pass. The ideas stopped coming but I did hold onto my scribble notes incase inspiration ever strikes again. But what I can’t get out of my mind was the feeling that something exciting was about to happen. One comment on that blog particularly stepped out to me to. Jac wrote “If you write, you are a writer.” This person, who is one of the few followers I don’t actually know, lit a small fire within me. They made me realize that I am a writer. As insignificant I might be right now as a writer, I write therefore I am. It’s just that simple. I’m not writing the next bestseller or news worthy reports but I’m writing for me. Because it feels good.

The biggest change I’ve made to my writing, is writing what I know. I’m not writing an introduction paragraph followed up by facts. I’m not researching topics. I’m not forcing to quote references, focusing on any grammar or worrying how small my vocabulary is. I type as fast as the thoughts and ideas come to me. I highly recommend it; it’s almost therapeutic. Like releasing the pressure in my brain. And now that I’m excited about writing, I’m actually more interested in proper grammar and expanding my vocabulary. I’ve already signed up to receive a Word A Day email from Webster. There’s still time yet to become a word junkie right? As for proper grammar, well I imagine that will always be an issue. I want my words to sound like me. And until I can speak properly, it’ll always be a little off. Plus, it may be because I’m naïve but I like to think that if I wrote something great one day, I’ll just have an amazing editor to put a good polish on my work.

And I have to say, starting this blog has been great. I love running into friends and family who come up to me and actually discuss something I wrote. I can’t help but glow a little bit when a few of my crazy awesome aunts say I have a talent for writing. Though I do believe they are a bit biased because I’m family, they wouldn’t say that if I was god awful either. So I suppose I can say I’m winning! And it never fails to amaze me which blogs get the most feedback. I think to date most of my woman readers responded to the “MILF Me” blog. And that one made me a little proud because my husband wasn’t too crazy about it. But I had the proof right in front of me, I’m not the only one. And that’s one other great thing about writing; you receive support and realize that your never the only one.

So my writing pilot is still lit. And I’ve begun looking into creative writing classes. I mentioned this to my dear old husband and I was actually a little offended at his response. After asking me how much a six week online course at ECC would cost, Michael responded “So it’s basically a $100 journal.” Ok, I will agree he has some merits. I am a beginner writer. Nothing from this class will probably evolve into anything but I suppose my gambling side is coming out because I can’t help but think what if! What if I take this creative writing class and it helps me get my start. I’ve already had more random story ideas pop into my head. What if one assignment blooms a small paragraph about one of those ideas. Then that paragraph grew into two pages, into a full chapter and before you know it, I have a novel. It could happen.

Don’t get my husband wrong, he’s supportive. And he’s smart. We’ve been together a long time and he knows that I get excited and ambitious whenever something new has caught my attention. What he also knows is that my attention can wan when the going gets tough. So I’d like to point out it’s been one year. One year of what? One year of blogging my friends. I have written 50 blogs in the past year. That’s almost an average of one per week. I honestly can’t see it stopping anytime soon either. So Mr. Vicious, time to embrace the new writer in the family.

(The scariest thing for me about this creative writing class is sharing my writing and getting feedback from my fellow students. Because I don’t’ see it like this blog. I’m comfortable with this. It’s like a journal, justing describing how I see my day to day life. What I’m hoping to get out of the class is starting a story that’s completely made up. Little spooky.)

Friday, May 20, 2011

The Everlasting Waistline Battle

I’ve noticed lately that I’ve been avoiding the scale. The weight loss competition is over at my job and I’ve used that as an excuse not to step on the scale. (And to those who might be asking “did you win?” Nope, not even close this time.) I’ve also let my grocery shopping slip through my fingers. I was going every weekend, stocking up for that week while I was in the competition but for the past two months or so, I have been going every two weeks. Which means, I run out of food before the next time I go and what happens then? Well, I pick up convenient fast food. And fast food to me can be like crack. I can always have room for one more french fry.

So, I forced myself on the scale two weeks ago and I’m up a few pounds. Not my ideal situation. And I’m 100% certain it’s do to skipping grocery shopping every week. So to remedy this temporary brain fart to my healthy life routine, here is what I’m going to change:

#1 – Every Sunday, without fail, I will go to the grocery store. Since I live close enough to a 24 hours Woodman’s, there’s really no excuse not to shop. When I feel tired and too lazy to get off the couch on Sunday I will remind myself that not only am I not burning calories as I sit around but I am guaranteeing myself that I will consume many more calories later in the week. Therefore, it is impetrative that either my husband or I will shop every Sunday.

#2 – No fast food drive-thru’s. Nope none! Now, read what I really wrote. No drive thru’s, not no fast food. Sometimes life has you on the run and it just makes life easier to stop. This will do two things for me; first I will rethink if I really need this supposed fast food because if you have any little kids they are not amused about going in and out of the car. It really is only convenient for me if I truly need to stop. Secondly, it will save me money. Every time I avoid going to get fast food and decide to prepare myself a hodge-podge meal from whatever I have at home will save me money, bonus! Plus, I’m sure whatever crap I can put together at home is a little healthier than what I would have picked up. And to anyone who’s ever been on a diet before and have restricted yourself, what is the first thing you want when you say you can’t have it. You want it bad! You want it now! So far, this mentality that I can have fast food, just not drive thru is fooling my brain that I’m not saying no, I’m just saying “walk your fast ass into the restaurant!”

What little tricks do you have about food to keep a slimmer waist?

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Second Time Around

(My family)

When my husband and I decided to start a family it felt like the easiest decision. Though I had no idea how we would afford the extra expenses of diapers and formula, nor did I know what daycare arrangement would be made; we just jumped in head first and knew that we would not sink, we’d swim. So three months before our wedding I decided to go off my birth control and we sustained from sex until our wedding night. It was a win-win situation, got me off a long-time run of taking birth control and made our wedding night more exciting. (Seriously, did not want to end up one of those brides too tired to consummate their marriage immediately!) Our wedding night and honeymoon landed at a time in my cycle that conception was impossible. And I swore that I would let things just happen on its own but I was just so ready to be a mom I couldn’t help but track my ovulation days and made sure the deed was done to increase our chances. And I succeeded! One month of trying and I was pregnant. My pregnancy was amazing. I had no issues with morning sickness, no constipation, hardly a lick of heartburn and I just felt really good about myself and starting a family. It was an amazing nine months of my life.

So now, almost two years after my little Desmond was born, I have baby fever. (Thanks a lot Lindsey for all those awesome updates and pregnancy photos!) So I thought the natural step would be to lose the birth control and so it was done. Now, two short weeks into being birth control free and the idea of true unprotected sex almost gives me a panic attack. What was once such an effortless decision suddenly feels like the biggest-life changing-decision of all time.

The second time around feels so much different. I suddenly feel like I could sink. Am I ready to share my love with another child? Could we really afford two children in daycare? Am I ready to commit to sleepless nights and the stress of having a newborn? How will Desmond handle having a sibling? Will I be able to maintain a cool head when I have two kids screaming for my attention? It’s like I’m plagued with what-if’s and how will-I’s.

I have no doubt more children are in my future. I may not have been able to imagine exactly what my career life should have been but I have a crystal clear idea of what my family life looks like. (And it’s a big family.) I think I’m afraid of how another baby would change the dynamic of our current life. It’s not for the bad, it’s just for the different and sometimes something different is scary.

I never would have thought that deciding to have a second child would be scarier than deciding on having the first. And I still haven’t decided if my worries are based on the unknown of adding a second child into our family mix or if it’s based on truly not being ready for the second.

So all second-third-fourth time moms out there…what went t through your mind when you decided (or some might say found out) you were pregnant for the second time?

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

MILF Me

This is a wee bit of an embarrassing confession for me but I think everyone can relate to wanting to feel desired. Regardless if you consider yourself hot or very plain, we all experience the same emotions. I’d also like to add because he might be wondering…my dear husband does make me feel desirable. But when you love someone you see more than just the outside. I’m talking about at a first look kind of desire.

How many times have you seen a teen-flick with the slow motion entrance of the school hottie? The boy stares and drools. Declares “oh yes, she will be mine.” (Ok, that was a rip from Wayne’s World but the saying fits here anyways). I always thought and hoped I was that moment for some boy in school. I’m not talking to the point of obsession but just enough of a moment that someone stops what they are doing and appreciates the view in front on them.

Ok, now I’m making myself blush. That totally sounded like I think I’m an almighty bombshell. Not what I mean to express, so read between the lines. Maybe it’s because I’m a girl and have lived those moments myself that makes me think boys did that in return. Do you guys? I swear middle school for me was filled with daily slow action films as a cute boy entered the classroom. (Hello, anyone else notice Vince DiMaria in 7th & 8th grade?) Is it so wrong to hope that they did that in return?

Now as an adult I’m not much better. My derby wife currently loves telling the story how I look around when I’m dancing to see who’s watching me. It’s true, I do. I can’t help it. And I swear it’s 100% of the reason I get hit on too. (So single ladies this might be something you want to try.) Think about it. You’re dancing and you look around to see who’s watching. Since you are looking and they are looking, eye contact is made. But have you ever caught someone watching you before? What’s your instinct? You turn away. Then you keep checking to see if they are still looking. It’s like instinctual to keep checking. Hence, lots more eye contact. Which I think puts out a “friendly” vibe to the watcher, therefore results in getting approached by dudes. Not a system I need since I’m not looking (very happily married, you see) but give it a try spinsters.

And what do I strive for now…being a MILF! Thanks a lot American Pie for putting that term in my head. No, I’m not looking to score with a younger man like in the movie. Cougardom is not for me. But again, I want to be a hot mom. Plain and simple. I want Desmond’s friends to think “Damn your dad’s lucky!” And I feel it’s safe to assume that my husband would appreciate having a hot wife. It’s a win-win for me and him. I suppose it’s not such a bad thing to strive for.

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