American Idol - No Yellow Brick Road

Here is my review folks...am I wrong? (My friend is in Italics)

Scotty – Good as usual. Consistency is a great thing but I fear that Scotty is too good at it. What happens several weeks from now when we see the same ol’ Scotty again and again. And I suggest keeping the guitar though, it was a nice touch and stopped him from doing that weird caressing of the mic thing he does. I agree! I think he is very talented…I just always hope he will shock everyone and do something out of his comfort zone…I just don’t see that happening. I don’t think he will win, but he will be successful in the country music world.

Naima – BARF! Why can’t this girl just sing a freaking song!?! I’m sorry honey but your fake accent, your dancing or your rap style ain’t going to save you for long. And am I the only one who found her reggae voice annoying? Why does your voice change? Gwen Stefani has heavy reggae influences in her music but she never sounds like she’s developed that reggae sound, the bitch sings in her own voice. And your shout out to people who are overcoming obstacles in their life doesn’t seem so moving when someone else told you to say it. I think maybe you should have asked them to edit that bit out. Or perhaps they are helping set-up your demise. Cause you need to go…and I vote you’ll be one of the two tonight! Amen! Her look, her sound, her teeth! Ugh. I just cant wait this girl perform. She is terrible!!! I HATE when people change themselves, she talks like she’s ghetto, than she performs like she is from Jamaica born and raised….gross!!! Bye Bye Naima!

Paul – He’s not doing much for me anymore. I like him with his guitar, his awkward swag is definitely at a normal level. But I think these themed weeks are only going to hurt him because he has such a distinct sound. He’s safe tonight…but for how long…depends on the themed weeks I suppose. I do think he is safe this week, but only because I know Naima will be one to go. I don’t see him sticking around much longer, even though I don’t mind looking at his face. But I don’t enjoy his performances anymore….boring.

Pia – For me, this was Pia’s best performance. It may seem simple but her little walk on stage, the lightening and the background chorus gave her usual ballad number a little pep. I don’t think she’s going to make it all the way but if she can keep upping her game, maybe I’ll like her one day. This girl is gorgeous and she has some serious pipes. I just want to see her do something current, something more up beat and exciting….if I recall correctly, I believe she mentioned last night that if she sticks around she will be singing No River, No Mountain, that doesn’t get me excited at all.

Stefano – I hate to say it, but this kid isn’t going anywhere. I’m so sorry Stefano but making eye contact still doesn’t make you connect to the audience. And not only that your singing isn’t phenomenal. Enjoy your run on Idol because this is your fifteen minutes of fame. This is the part in the show when I get so bored, I go to the kitchen to grab a snack….hoping he will be done by the time I get back. Stefano who?

Lauren – Very refreshing last night. I agree with the judges one of her best performances and I like her more subdued like this. She has moments in her past performances that just look too cocky and annoying. But last night she found the right balance. Except did anyone think she was a little Paula Abdul’ish with Ryan Seacrest after her performance? This girl is super safe. I really like her. She has uniqueness to her voice. She is young and keeps it young. She is definitely safe for a while, but once the boring ones get filtered out…I don’t see her sticking around all the way till the end.

James – Oh, James how I love thee. And not always for the right reasons. Only you have the power to make a piano spontaneously combust into flames while doing semi-back bend in skin tight jeans. How I love to laugh at thee…but flaming aside, I still like him. He has moves. He has a voice when he isn’t screeching and he’s just likeable to me. Safe! His stage presence may be a little corny at times, but at least he puts on a show, he performs for the audience. I always look forward to what he will do. He always makes the songs his own and he has a great voice. I have a feeling he will be in the top three, tight pants and bandana tail ‘n all.

Thia – Snoozefest! And I hope and pray this is your last week on Idol because you add absolutely nothing to the show. It’s like having an extended bathroom break when she performs. You aren’t missing anything!!! Why are you still here? Please, please America send her home. GOODBYE! OMG! This poor young girl, she is stuck in a 30 yr olds soul. She can sing, but the songs she chooses are always too old for her, and she never changes them up to make them current. Seriously one of the most boring performers Idol has ever had of all seasons…I would rather watch terrible yet entertaining performers than watch Thia sing.

Casey – He’s safe. Without even considering his performance he’ll be safe. He’ll get lots of his fans voting repeatedly after last weeks near send off. And if you consider his performance last night, he deserves to stay. I agree with the judges that it’s nice that he adds “himself” into the songs but last night those moments he adding “himself” I actually didn’t like those moments. But the best part…his beard looks like a beard last night and not some pubes glued to his face. And the trim of his hair made his full face seem smaller. Keep up the trips to the barber…it did you good. Did anyone else notice that the hip barber was hot? Lol…anyways, he looked 80% better last night, keep up the slight make over’s each week and by the end he will look 100% better. I actually enjoyed his performance. Without his wild body all over the stage as usual, and the growls and weird facial expressions…..I noticed this guy can sing. He is safe, way safe.

. Jacob – DOUBLE BARF! BARF! I hate him. There I said it. I hate him. I do not like him Sam I Am! His performances are just too dramatic. And the faces he was making last night seemed like a rabid animal and I thought at any moment last night he was going to eat his mic with that wide open mouth at all times. You’re not having a dental exam on stage Jacob, we don’t need to see your esophagus. But what really annoys me about him is that I just don’t hear it! His tone of voice says so muffled and off key to me. It’s actually irritating to listen too. I can’t wait for him to go but fear I have some more weeks of torture. OK. Every time I hear his name announced I prepare myself to be grossed out. Why does his mouth go crooked when he sings? Why does he be sure to show all teeth, top and bottom while closing his eyes? And when he sang that last note (that seemed to last forever as I made a grossed out face) did he keep his mouth wide open, and he didn’t move?!?! It was so weird!!! Gross gross gross! Go bask to the gospel and sing there. Please.

Haley – I love her. Yes I realize I’ve always like underdogs but that’s not why I like her. I really honestly like her voice. It’s something I would listen to if she ever puts anything out. And I know I like her voice honestly because I find her very annoying. But regardless, I want her to move on. I could do without the arm wave thing she did last night…it was like watching her do a backstroke with one arm out of water. But I think she’s safe and I’m keeping my fingers she’ll stay safe because I like her. I love her too! Her look, her stage presence, her dirty voice. I love her entire package. She has such a unique sound and she uses it. I never realized how tiny she was until she was standing next to Ryan wearing heels, and still at least 4 inches shorter than him. I know she will stick around for a while, but I would like to see her win. Something fresh.

My bottom 3: Naima, Stefano and Thia…my picks for going home tonight are Naima & Thia! Agreed sister!